Jack and Annie's Adventure with the Monks
by Greene Earth Productions
Summary: Can Jack and Annie complete the dangerous mission given to them by Mr. Idiot (Teddy) and Ms. Sea-Girl (Kathleen), or will the trauma be too much for snarky Jack? Hilarious parody of Dogs in the Dead of Night, rated T for mild swearing, blood, and Jack. (you'll understand that part soon enough!)
1. Chapter 0: Prologue

**Jack and Annie's Adventure with the Monks.**

 **Prologue: Context.**

Jack and Annie are like eighteen and sixteen now, since they've gone on _**tons**_ of adventures and Morgan/Merlin/Teddy&Kathleen only ever bothers to send the treehouse like once every three months, their current mission is to save Merlin's pet penguin, Penny, from Book #40, who the unattractive Teddy, like an idiot, has turned to stone, to save her they need to gather four special objects (who saw that one comin'?) without ever letting Merlin find out because he'd totally kill Teddy's ass, or letting Morgan find out because she'd tell Merlin and we all know how that goes, so Teddy and his partner, Kathleen the sea-girl, are sending Jack and Annie off in secret, they say they need Jack and Annie's help because they have to stay at Camelot and figure out what the four items are, but everybody knows the real reason is because they get pleasure out of seeing Jack and Annie struggle to do things, so much so that despite the fact that the brother-sister pair are doing all this _for them_ with Teddy's life being at stake and all, they will still do everything in their power to make things as hard as reasonably possible for Jack and Annie to succeed.

On their last adventure, Jack and Annie traveled to the barbaric Mogul Empire of India to retrieve a teeny tiny emerald shaped like a rose, said rose belonged to the Grand Mogul, a very unreasonable man who killed people for the smallest things, sounds hard right? right, that must be what Teddy and Kathleen were thinking, unfortunately for them Jack and Annie actually somehow wound up getting the rose quickly and easily, so now, like three months later, Teddy and Kathleen send word to Annie in the middle of the night telling her that they're ready to send them on their next mission, Annie went and woke up Jack, who sleeps naked now, and has for some time, and told him they need to go, he said sure and that he was ready right off the bat, Annie called bullshit and told him to get his clothes on, once he had done that they headed to the treehouse together and found instructions telling them to go to the Swiss Alps and find a white-and-yellow flower there, they also found a little blue bottle with the instructions ' _one sip will turn you into anything you want for one hour, use only once, no explanations, no excuses._ '

And so Jack and Annie went to the Alps, expecting this mission to be relatively easy, only to discover that Teddy and Kathleen, being Teddy and Kathleen, actually sent them on their most dangerous mission thus far, probably as revenge for owning the last one, anyway, they appeared in the Alps on a mountainside, they weren't there for even two minutes when an avalanche just naturally came crashing down on them, it tossed them around and almost literally drowned Jack, luckily for Annie she was rescued almost immediately by some local monks, Jack however stayed trapped under the snow for minutes, only to be dug up by the monks' huge, terrifying dogs, Jack was so numb and the lighting so dark that he couldn't properly make out what was happening, he thought that the dogs had torn him open and were eating him alive, and then when the monks themselves came along, they did so slowly and holding torches, with their hoods pulled so far over their faces that they looked like a small army of death coming to take Jack away to the afterlife, they rescued him and brought him to their monastery to rejoin Annie, where they discovered that the monks are actually a super-happy and sunshiny people, who spread glee throughout the halls of their monastery, however, Jack had been so badly traumatized by his near death experience and the horrific misunderstandings that followed that he immediately develops a strong dislike for the monks, pair that up with how his mind reacts to trauma by encouraging him to be snarky and demanding, and things suddenly don't look so good...!

Also, they've been carrying the emerald rose around in Jack's bag for some reason, unlike seriously every other important item they've ever collected since Book #4, what the hell? oh, and Bing-Bing is a whole other story.


	2. Chapter 1: Father Laurent

**Chapter 1: Father Laurent.**

"Welcome." one out of a pair of monks said in a deep, warm voice, he was a large man with a rugged face "I am Father Laurent, the head of the monastery."

"And I am Brother Michael." said the other one, he was around the same age as Jack, his face smooth and rosy.

" **We're Jack and Annie.** " Jack said hoarsely, his voice still wasn't quite back to normal.

"Thanks for helping us." said Annie, specifically phrasing it as 'help' instead of 'save'.

"We were happy to do so." said Father Laurent "you must come and sit by the fire in the parlor to warm yourselves and dry your clothes, Brother Michael will take you there while I ask our cook to warm some soup for you."

"Uh," Jack started, " _cook_ soup, or _warm_ soup?"

Father Laurent looked slightly taken aback.

"Warm soup..." he stated.

"Oh, so it's pre-made soup?" Jack asked disappointedly, "we've gone to places all over the world and had people cook us fresh soup the instant we arrived, I guess the famous monk hospitality isn't all it's cracked up to be..."

"W-well it's only pre-made so you won't have to wait as long." Father Laurent explains.

"Oh, well that's a convenient excuse." Jack snarks.

A frown appeared momentarily on Father Laurent's face, before he hastily replaced it with a forced smile, he nodded at Jack respectfully before turning away and heading down the hall towards the kitchen.

As Father Laurent walked away, Jack realized how much he wanted to lie down, he was still feeling cold and hungry, but he felt more tired than either.

"Come with me." said Brother Michael "are you able to walk on your own?"

"Uh, no, I don't, I don't think so, I think you should just carry me on your back." Jack suggested.

"Uh, yeah, I think that would be best." Annie agreed, giving Jack a curious glance.

"*sigh* very well..." Brother Michael said, turning around and arching his back.

Jack eagerly skipped forward and jumped onto his back, Brother Michael letting out a grunt, Jack wrapped his arms around his chest for support like a koala.

Brother Michael called for another monk to come join them, after quickly explaining the ridiculous situation the other monk agreed to allow Annie to climb onto his back, and so the two monks limped their way through the dimly lit halls until they came to the dimly lit parlor, complete with it's huge fireplace.

"Ugh...!" Brother Michael grunts as he drops Jack off onto the soft carpet, the other monk doing the same with Annie.

"Please, sit by the fire." offered Brother Michael.

" _ **Sit?**_ " groaned Jack, "not _lie down_?"

"W-we don't have anything for you to lie down on." said Brother Michael, rubbing his back "all we have are these wooden chairs." he gestures towards the chairs, sitting idlely against the wall of the room.

" _ **Wooden?**_ " Jack groans again in disbelief, "but that'll hurt my poor ass..."

"I-I'm sorry..." Brother Michael apologizes, "but that's all we have."

Jack sighs disappointedly.

"... _hey!_ but if one of you were to sit on the chair, and let me sit on your lap, then that would be acceptable!" Jack pointed out.

Brother Michael looked VERY taken aback and begins to stutteringly open his mouth to respond.

"Yeah, that would even be more efficient in warming us up and drying us off." Annie agreed.

Brother Michael looks at a loss for words, just shaking his head speechlessly, until eventually he takes an accepting gulp, "v-very well..." he agrees.

"Al-right!" Jack cheers, before Brother Michael even knew it Jack was pushing him into the wooden chair and plopping down onto his lap, his weight combined with Jack's made the chair five times more uncomfortable for him, with the added discomfort of just the fact that Jack was sitting on him, AND the added discomfort of Jack's wet clothes soaking their water away into _his_ robes.

Beside them Annie and the other monk were seated as well, Annie giving her monk a much easier time than Jack was giving Brother Michael, with none of the pushing or anything like that, she also sat partially across her monk's legs, leaving him plenty of room to breathe comfortably, while Jack sat directly in line with Brother Michael, with his back pressed up against Brother Michael's chest, and the back of his head right up in Brother Michael's face, making Brother Michael have to tilt his head back and look upwards to avoid Jack's hair, hurting his neck and making it hard to breathe.

So Jack and Annie just sat there on the monks and stared at the crackling fire for a couple moments, after which Father Laurent came into the room with two bowls of steaming soup, he looked surprised when he saw them sitting on his monks' laps, but didn't dare say anything.

"H-here is your soup..." he presented it to them, handing them the bowls.

"Tsk, took you long enough..." Annie muttered.

"Yeah! What's up with that!? I thought you were just 'warming' it!" Jack complained.

Father Laurent just stares gaping at them in disbelief.

"Ah, whatever, let's just eat it anyway..." Annie decides.

"Okay, sure." Jack nodded, while Annie started on her's silently.

 _Sluuurp, tch, tch, tch._ Jack tasted his.

"A little _**salt,**_ _maybe?_ " Jack said as he turned back to Father Laurent.

Father Laurent looked taken aback again, but then quickly turned to another monk and requested him to go fetch them salt, the monk bowed and obeyed, running out of the parlor on his errand.

While the errand monk was gone, the room fell into an unhappy silence, as Jack just sat there on Brother Michael's lap, holding his soup idlely in his hand, his expression impatient and unimpressed, while beside him, Annie continued to consume her bowl of soup, she also thought it could use salt, but it didn't bother her enough to wait, and she figured she'd just take some of Jack's salt should she still have any left by the time the monk got back with it.

Jack was becoming more annoyed by the second, flashing bothered looks at Father Laurent, he was not happy to have to sit there and hold his soup bowl up, his arm was becoming tired and he knew his soup was slowly going cold, despite the fact that many wisps of steam still rose from it, and it's prolonged heat was now starting to sting his fingers, all these facts irritated him tremendously.

"Somebody want to take my bowl from me before it _burns my hand?_ " he snarks out at the room, breaking the silence.

"Yeah, one of you guys should." Annie agrees, pausing her meal to look around at the monks "don't forget the fact that he just nearly died, so his arm's probably pretty weak right now, one of you should grab it from him before he drops it all over the floor and ruins the carpet, or all over his lap, and by extension, Michael's lap."

"Uhh...!" Brother Michael gasps as he instantly raised his arm, his hand spread out for Jack to use as a cupholder, Jack just grumpily puts his bowl down in it, not bothering to thank Brother Michael, and his expression not lightening up in the least, his face still a solid, bitter frown.

A couple minutes later the monk comes back with a small bowl of salt, Jack took it from him and poured most of it into his soup.

"Hey, you wanna pass it over here?" Annie requests just as Jack was about to give the bowl back to the monk.

"Hm? oh-uh, yeah, sure." Jack nods "here you go." he says as he holds it out to her, his arm reaching as far as it would go without him having to shift and give Brother Michael any relief or anything like that, as a result his arm doesn't reach very far so Annie has to lean forward a ways, but her hand reaches his and she takes the salt, adding some of it to her small pool of remaining soup.

The room went quiet again as Jack and Annie ate their soup, Annie finished her's rather quickly of course, and by the time Jack was finished they were feeling all better, the hot soup had warmed them up, and the fire, and the monks they were sitting on, their clothes were also nearly dry.

Jack placed his empty bowl in his spare hand and offered to take Annie's for her in his main, Annie leaned forward, reached out and passed her's to him, he then turned the other way to face Father Laurent.

"That was some seriously gross broth you gave us." Jack said as he handed the empty bowls back over to the head monk "what are you trying to do, kill me?"

All the monks in the room instantly become very unhappy, though most continue with their fake smiles, Father Laurent especially was impacted by this, being the one that Jack was talking to, and how most of his time around Jack has been spent solely on seeing Jack push and push about the soup, only to continue to push it even after it was done and over with, and the fact that Jack's done nothing but complain without ever showing any thanks to anyone, especially Father Laurent, despite the head man's constant and relentless generosity, and to make matters worse, now every other monk in the room had their eyes on him, watching to see how he'd react, it made him very uncomfortable, enough that he decided to just skip the issue all-together and try to change the subject.

"So uh," Father Laurent starts "how are you fee-"

" **KUHhuhKUGHhuhKughHUhHUH!** " Jack breaks into a fit of fake coughs, "ugh, I feel _**awful**_ , I think we're gonna have to spend the night."

"Oh, uh, well..." Father Laurent trails off.

"Well, if it's any consolation to you I feel noticeably better." Annie states, "besides, I did manage to choke down that gross soup you gave me."

"B-broth." Jack corrects her, holding up his finger correctively.

"Uh, o-of course you two can stay the night..." Father Laurent said nervously, "and I'm sure you'll be eager to continue your journey tomorrow morning after you are all nicely rested and recovered."

"Oh, well, I don't know how well rested we'll be, that kinda depends on the quality of your beds, that I honestly find, *smack* pretty questionable." Jack states, "and I really don't know if we'd be fully recovered by then, let alone well enough to travel, even if we do rest up good."

"Yeah, it is a really hard thing to judge." Annie agrees, nodding thoughtfully "if you ask me, I'd say that I honestly think your best bet is to probably just give us the best beds you've got, leave us to sleep best we can, and basically just, you know, hope, that's it's enough, in the end, hopefully."

"*sigh*, of course..." Father Laurent said tiredly "I will be sure to see to it that you are accommodated as you request."

"Thank you, I'm sure it's our best chance, you're doing the right thing." Annie says encouragingly.

 _Sucker._ she thinks.

"Could you see to it NOW, please? Before you... _forget?_ " Jack snarks irritably.

"U-uh, yes, right away..." he turns away to go talk with some of the monks briefly, once he's finished he comes back.

"You done?" Jack asks, impatiently.

"Y-yes, yes I am." Father Laurent states nervously, he was once again feeling very uncomfortable, so he decides to do what he did before and change the subject, "you must be very brave to try to travel the pass during the night."

"Uh, yeah, we could, or maybe we could be really foolish, what, did you not think of that?" Annie questions right back at him.

"Well, uh, it actually did cross my mind in fact, but I wished not to offend you." Father Laurent responds.

"Tsk! You mean you thought we were very foolish but wanted to be two-faced towards us about it, didn't you!?" Jack says, "I am insulted! nobody has ever been so dishonest towards us in our travels, other than Teddy and Kathleen, not even the pirates!"

"Pirates?" Brother Michael repeated confused.

"Uh, no, I'm sorry, I meant only that it had crossed my mind, I did not think of you two as fools." Father Laurent hastily apologizes, "I thought you must've been crossing the pass for some very important reason of your own, making you not foolish, but brave."

"Oh, really?" Annie starts, "well then I guess you were wrong, we must be the biggest fools you've ever seen: we were searching the pass for flowers."

"My goodness! _flowers!?_ " Brother Michael repeats in shock, his surprise making him slightly nudge Jack from behind.

" _ **Ugh!**_ " Jack grunts as he nudges Brother Michael much harder in response "stay still, stupid!" he orders botheredly.

"Yep, flowers of all things." Annie continues to Father Laurent "do you know where we can find any?"

Father Laurent then laughed a fine, hearty laugh, he laughed for a good long moment before stopping.

"You are very amusing..." he starts joyfully to Annie, looking happy as ever once again "but now please tell me, what is the real reason you've come to the pass?"

"Uh, to gather flowers." Annie says flatly.

"Now that really is a very fine joke, but seriously now, why have you come?" Father Laurent repeats.

"Uh, listen, Bub, I don't know whose face your looking at, but mine clearly says that I'm not kidding around here." Annie responds, gesturing to her serious expression "look at me, do I look like I'm joking? huh? do I look like I'm _fucking joking?_ "

"Now, now! there's no need for that...!" Father Laurent raises his hands peacefully "if you really do not wish to tell me, then I won't ask you to any longer."

"Well, Mr. Nosey, if you really want to know so bad, then fine." Jack butts in "the truth is: we're on an important mission."

"Hm!?" he instantly captures all of the monks' interest.

"Important mission you say?" Father Laurent repeats "a mission to do what?"

"Well, it's pretty classified, top secret stuff, but I, _guess,_ we could just tell you." Jack responds uncertainly "after all, you did save our lives, and I'm feeling pretty grateful."

It made Father Laurent even happier to see Jack showing gratitude, "Please, go on." he requests.

"Okay, so, our important mission is..." Jack looks around secretively before going on quietly "...to find and collect samples of the unique flora that inhabit the upper Alps."

Silence.

"Or, in other words, 'get flowers'." he adds.

"That's right." Annie agrees with a nod "it's very important."

Some of the monks breathe a disappointed huff.

"So, you are serious then?" Father Laurent asks tiredly "you came here for flowers?"

"Yep." Annie nods "me and Jack are the world's very best flower-finders, gathering a grand collection of the most rare and exotic flora across the globe, it's a very hard job, and so far the Alps have been one of the more dangerous expeditions, but we'll totally pull through in the end."

"Mm-hm." Jack absent-mindedly hums agreement.

"But how can this be? you are just children." asked Father Laurent.

"Uh, _**excuse me,**_ I believe the phrase is, 'Young Adults'." Jack corrects him offendedly.

"Yeah." Annie nods her agreement "that's what we are, I admit that it's still not terribly impressive at first glance, but for your information, we've been doing this since I was like, _four,_ so even though we may still be pretty young, we've had plenty of experience and have gotten to be pretty good at it, we take our job very seriously thanks, heck, it was just a couple months ago that we were gathering green roses in India, we did such a good job there that we finished early and had a bunch of spare time on our hands, that we then used to ride on elephants and go see the beauty of the Taj Mahal, tell me, have any of _you_ ever done so good at your job that you had time to ride elephants and see the Taj Mahal?"

Every monk shook their head, many looking down at their feet embarrassedly, but not Brother Michael, who doesn't dare move.

"That's what I thought." Annie finishes contently.

The room was silent for a moment, with only the sounds of the crackling fire and the whistle of the wind outside disrupting everyone's quiet thoughts.

"...well!" Father Laurent eventually spoke "I suppose you two would now like to go to bed for the night, there's been quite enough talk, and of course you need your rest."

"Y-yeah, I, uh, suppose." Jack responds tiredly, Annie nodding agreement, "b-but I'm afraid I'm simply feeling too weak to make it there myself, and besides, I don't know the way, so I guess you and Brother Michael here will just have to carry me, that is, if you don't mind, which of course you don't, right?", Annie keeps nodding agreement.

"Actually, I'm afraid I must prepare to leave." said Father Laurent, the tiniest hint of bitterness in his voice "since you requested our best beds, I am going to allow you to share mine, it may be only one but it is the best we have, so you will be occupying my room tonight, it's not much bother, I was going to leave early tomorrow morning to help the French soldiers go conquer our sworn enemies, the Italians, anyways, but now that my bed has been taken I suppose I will simply leave tonight and join them earlier than we planned, but as I said, it is no bother." he lies, it totally bothers him "my only, _regret,_ is that I will not be here to further help you come tomorrow morning."

"Oh-no!" Annie cries "that's a shame, I was looking forward to seeing you tomorrow."

"Yeah! that sucks!" Jack agrees "can't you just, like, _**not**_ go? couldn't you just blow it off and stay here with us instead?"

"I'm sure the French could do just fine without you." Annie adds.

Father Laurent shook his head, "No, I am afraid they would most likely see it as an act of betrayal if I were to do that, then they would simply become our new Italians."

"But...!" Annie starts whinily.

"Huhhh! _fine,_ whatever! just _**go.**_ " Jack rolls his eyes frustratedly, crossing his arms and looking away from Father Laurent.

Father Laurent stared at him in uncomfortable silence once again, not sure of what to say, he just, bowed respectfully, before slowly walking away, leaving to go prepare for his departure, gone.


	3. Chapter 2: Bedtime

**Chapter 2: Bedtime.**

Brother Michael grunted as Jack jumped onto his back and clung on like a koala once again.

"Are you feeling well enough to walk on your own?" Annie's monk asks her hopefully.

"Ugh, _fine,_ I'll walk on my own." Annie says with a roll of her eyes "I'll just, struggle to keep up, and tire myself out, extending my need for recovery time."

"No-no-no-no-no-no! please, don't do that!" Brother Michael immediately jumps in and takes control of the situation "Brother Henry, please continue to carry her this one last time, once she has rested overnight she will have no need of you tomorrow."

"*sigh*, very well." Brother Henry agreed, letting Annie gently clamber up onto his back.

Brother Michael and Brother Henry carried Jack and Annie out of the parlor, the two monks held lanterns to light the way through the chilly halls, walking slowly due to the burdens they had clinging to their backs.

"Hey, Paste, how much further until we get there?" Jack asks.

"Huh?" Brother Michael glances back, confused "excuse me?"

"I asked how much farther it is to my room, Paste." Jack snarks.

"Um... a... while yet." Brother Michael responds.

" _Ugh,_ useless." Jack groans.

Silence.

"Hey, uh, may I ask you something?" Brother Henry requests to Jack.

"What?" Jack asks flatly.

"Who's Paste?" Brother Henry replies.

" _Tskah,_ well that's a stupid question." Jack scoffs, "he is." he bashes his head against Brother Michael's.

"OW!" the monk reacts.

"Oh get over it." Annie orders absent-mindedly.

The monks then shutted up and continued the journey, after a few minutes of awkward silence they decide to tell Jack and Annie some random trivia about the monastery in a misguided attempt to entertain them.

"This monastery was built almost eight hundred years ago now." Brother Michael got it started.

"Yes, and to this day it is still a very large and fine settlement." Brother Henry agreed "we have a dog kennel for the St. Bernards, a chapel for us to send our prayers, and even a library! filled with books and everything, no joke."

"Yes I'm sure you do." Annie responds boredly.

"That's not it, we also have a museum of rocks and minerals, many gathered together by Father Laurent himself!" Brother Henry continued.

"Do you have any _flowers?_ " Jack asks rudely, almost snapping at the monk, who, by the way, seemed around the same age as Brother Michael, but didn't tend to talk as much as him, and actually wore his robe's hood indoors, though it doesn't obscure his face like the rescue party's had, Jack and Annie didn't know it, but he was actually only here at all because it's where his parents had sent him, they were trying to 'set him straight' so to speak, as outside of the monastery he had been a cursing slacker, but that's it, he was not bad, just lazy, and he liked to use profanity.

"Uh, no, I'm afraid not." Brother Michael answers for Brother Henry, who looked taken aback by Jack's sudden bluntness.

"Then congratulations! you have made me _completely_ lose interest in your little tour that absolutely nobody wanted, let alone asked for." Jack snarks.

The rest of the journey was then done in awkward silence.

"Here we are...!" Brother Michael said as they walked up to a fancy door, he knelt down a bit to let Jack get off, Brother Henry and Annie doing the same.

"This is it, Father Laurent's room." Brother Michael continued, gesturing to the door.

"It's where you will be sleeping tonight." Brother Henry reminded them.

"Uh, we kinda already know that, thanks." said Annie, neither in a nice way nor a nasty one.

"I sure hope Father Laurent doesn't live like a pig." Jack states with a huff "I swear, if I have to put up with his crap being strewn all over the floor...!"

"Don't worry about it, Jack, even if it is messy we'll just get these guys to clean it up." Annie says right in front of the monks, gesturing to them "and if they won't, well, then we'll just shove it all to the side or toss it out a window or something."

"Hm, okay, that sounds good." Jack nods.

"Eh-hem!" Brother Michael pretends to cough to get their attention.

"If you want to say something to us, you can just do it." Jack says to him without even turning to look, though Annie does.

"Well, uh..." Brother Michael starts nervously "I, just wanted to say that I hope you two sleep well, and feel better tomorrow morning, you know Father Laurent won't be here, but me and Brother Henry will, so, I suppose we'll see you then, feel free to sleep in 'til around noon, one or both of us will come to wake you up then if you are still asleep."

"What if we wake up early and don't want to go back to sleep?" Annie asks.

"Well, if you do find you need anything in the night or early morning, simply come and ask me for it, I sleep in the room over there, just down the hall." he points "I'm Father Laurent's chief assistant these days, so my room has to be close to his." he explains.

"Oh, alright then." Annie nods.

"What if you're not in your room?" Jack questions "what if we walk over there looking for you, only to find that there's no you and no clue as to where you are?"

"If I'm not in my room, then I am almost certainly already up." Brother Michael starts "and if I'm up, then chances are most of the other monks are up, simply find one and ask him to bring you to me."

"What if the Italians attack and kill everybody? then what do we do?" Jack questions.

"*tired sigh*, listen, you have my word as a monk that if the Italians attack then the first thing I'll do is race here to your room and get you both out to safety." Brother Michael promises "does that sound good?"

"Uh, what if you die?" Jack points out "what if you're the _first one_ killed in the attack?"

"Ugh, then Brother Henry will do it." Brother Michael gestures crudely to his friend.

"What if he was the one who killed you?" Jack asked.

"He would never do that!" Brother Michael waves him off.

"Are you sure?" Jack says with a glance at Brother Henry.

"Yes!" Brother Michael insists.

"Ugh, fine, but then what if you _both_ die? like, at the same time? both first?" Jack asks, still completely skeptical that they'll be there for them, no matter how unlikely it is that they won't.

"Ughhh, then I suppose that's that." Brother Michael says a little curtly "please, Sir Jack, I am very tired and would like to go to bed, I already had a busy day planned tomorrow as it was before taking care of you two got dumped on my checklist, please do not ask me any more questions, if you still have any I will be more than content to answer them for you tomorrow, alright?"

"Fine...!" Jack agrees with a roll of his eyes.

"Here." Brother Henry says as he gives his lantern to Annie "you'll need it to light the room before you go to sleep, but remember, be really sure you're all set and ready to fall asleep before you blow it out, because once you do that there's no way for you to easily light it again."

"Okay, got it, thanks." Annie nods respectfully to him.

"Hey, where's the bathroom?" Jack asks Brother Henry "I'd ask him but I'm not allowed to do that anymore." he gestures roughly at Brother Michael "so I'm just gonna dump all my questions on you, anyway, it's been several hours since I last went, so I'd really like to know."

"Bathroom?" Brother Henry repeats cluelessly "what's that?"

"UGH, nevermind!" Jack snaps irritably, he knew there was no point in specifying, as the treehouse's magic warped language as well as clothes and money, if these people had a different name for bathrooms then Brother Henry would've heard it as that.

"Well..." Brother Michael starts tiredly "goodnight to both of you, I'll see you tomorrow morning."

"Doubt it." Jack scoffs quietly, "goodnight, Paste." he adds afterward.

"Goodnight, Miss Annie, goodnight, Sir Jack." Brother Henry said with a respectful bow to each of them before he and Brother Michael turn to leave.

"Goodnight, thanks for your help." Annie says kindly, waving after the monks, Brother Henry waved back a bit, then they were gone.

 _Well, that's probably the last time we're gonna see them._ Jack thinks, a little sadly.

"O-kay! let's check out our new room...!" Annie cheered, turning and grabbing the knob on the door, she eagerly swings it open and holds the lantern up high to shed it's light everywhere, Jack looking in from behind her.

The room was pretty small for the two of them, but rather large for one adult, such as Father Laurent, most of the floor was covered by a carpet softer than the one in the parlor, in the top-left corner there was a wardrobe, while in the top-right corner was a bedside-table, beside the bedside-table was the bed, the room's main feature, with it's head to the right, it was large enough for the both of them and had a mountain of six pillows on it, the blanket was also extremely thick and therefore quite heavy, and it was big enough to reach the floor on all three sides of the bed it hung off of, across from the door was a wooden window, it was closed tight, but you could still hear the wind whistling outside of it, and across from the bed was a large, somewhat dirty mirror, big enough for Father Laurent to see his whole reflection in, finally, Jack's bag, which had been taken from him during the rescue, was waiting for them on the inside door handle.

"Wow! pretty sweet pad they gave us, huh?" Annie exclaims as they walk in.

"Eh, I guess it'll do." Jack shrugs, walking over to look at himself in the mirror, he also grabs up his bag off of the doorknob on the way there, hanging it from his left hand as he stands there and examines his reflection.

"Nice." Annie says as she sets down the lantern on the bedside-table, actually setting it into a short, round bolting-stand of some sort that keeps the lantern from being able to fall over even if it's knocked, once it's firmly set in she hops onto the bed and rolls over onto her back, lying on the right side of it beside the bedside-table.

"Ah man, Jack, this is the life." she says happily.

"Well, I suppose it is by far the most pleasant thing that Father Laurent has done for us so far." Jack nods as he turns away from the mirror to look at Annie.

"Yeah, that's true..." Annie nods, thinking back to the awful soup, before shrugging her shoulders and moving on "...come over here, Jack, get comfy." she invites, patting the left side of the bed "you can have that side, I'll have this one beside the bedside-table and lantern, or 'lamp' as we may as well call it."

" **Mokay.** " Jack murmurs in response, walking over to the bed and throwing his bag down on the floor beside it, he then slides onto the bed and lays down on his back, laying across the left side of it, about a foot away from Annie.

"Here, let's get these pillows straightened out." Annie says as she takes out the two center pillows, tossing one to Jack and adding the other to her two right-side pillows, Jack adds the one she tossed him to his two left-side ones, giving them three each.

"So..." Annie starts as she lays on her side, propping her head up with her arm to look over at Jack, concern drifting in her eyes "is there anything you wanted to talk about before we go to sleep?"

"No, not really." Jack shakes his head, just laying back and starting to try and get cozy "why, was there something you wanted to?"

"Well, yeah, kinda..." Annie nods slowly.

"And what's that?" Jack asks as he judgingly tests the weight of the blanket with his hand.

"Well, it's just..." Annie starts carefully "...are you okay?"

"Huh?" Jack looks at her in surprise "what?"

"Are you doing alright?" Annie rephrases.

"Uh, yeah, as best I can in this dump at least." Jack nods "why?"

"Well, because, you seem to be acting a little differently than usual." Annie elaborates.

"No I'm not." Jack responds cluelessly.

"Yes you are, you're being a lot more snide and harder to please." Annie insists.

"Uh, no, I'm acting the same as I always have." Jack insists back.

"Hmmmm..." Annie thinks of a way to convince him "...here, I've got it: compare how you've been acting around the monks to how you acted on basically any of our other adventures."

Jack started thinking hard, trying to remember his words and actions throughout the day and how they could be any different from any of their other fifty adventures.

"...well, I guess I might've been a little more quick to anger than I usually am, if that's it." he eventually says with a shrug.

"No, Jack, you weren't being quick to anger." Annie shakes her head "you were more of stuck in this weird kind of calm, sardonic mood the whole time through, at no point were you content and then made angry, many of your scornful comments either didn't have anger in them or had what seemed like it could've been some sort of forced anger, hell, at rare moments it even seemed like you were getting _pleasure_ out of it."

Jack made a weirded-out face and slowly shook his head in bewilderment, "I'm sorry, Annie, but I have no idea what you're talking about."

Annie sighed, "well, what about the soup? if somebody else-"

"B-broth." Jack corrects her, holding up his finger correctively.

"...okay, if somebody else had given you the _broth_ , on a different adventure of ours, you would've just ate it without complaint." Annie claims "instead, you complained, a lot."

"Uh, well actually, that depends..." Jack starts "first off, that broth was _really_ gross, just gotta quickly get that out of the way, second, if that somebody who gave it to me was someone powerful, like the Grand Mogul or George Washington or Queen Elizabeth, then yeah, I would've ate it without complaint, because they'd kill me otherwise, and I'd also not complain if whoever giving it to us is somebody we need to help or might be able to get help from, but look around, we're living with monks! what are they gonna do, abandon their lifelong oaths and kill me? not likely."

"Hm, well I guess that's a good point..." Annie nods "but still, you're acting weird, Jack, I know you, and I don't believe the you I know would just suddenly up and start acting like that just because the people he's doing it to will stand there and take it, so I'm not fully buying the power excuse, there's something else going on with you, and it scares me a little, if what it's doing is hurting you in any way, then I want to help, I understand now that you yourself may not even be aware of it, and if that's the case then it's all the more important that I watch it for you, do you understand?" she finishes softly.

Jack stared wide-eyed at her for a moment, surprised at how genuinely worried she was over something that didn't exist as far as he knew, "uh, y-yeah." he nods slowly, "sure, if it's really worrying you, I'll do whatever I can to help figure it out."

"Good, thank you." Annie nods, relieved "there doesn't seem to be much we can do about it right now, so we can just forget about it for tonight, and who knows, maybe when we get up tomorrow you'll be exactly like your old self again, anything's possible when you live in a world with magic treehouses."

 _Pah! 'magic treehouse', yeah right, the thing's obviously just a fucking TARDIS that Morgan somehow got her hands on._ Jack scoffs in his head.

"Yeah, I guess." Jack nods as he starts trying to relax again.

"Come on, let's get to sleep." Annie says as she sits up, folding the blanket over more to make it easier for her to get in.

"I suppose I'm sleeping in my clothes tonight, huh?" Jack observes bitterly as he gets under the blanket on his side.

"I'll strip if you strip." Annie answers with a shrug.

"What!?" Jack's shocked "really!?"

" _Yeah really_ -FUCK no!" Annie snaps as she takes her boots off "you can survive one night can't you?"

"Ugh, _fine._ " Jack gives in, sliding back out from under the blanket to take his own boots off, something he hadn't thought about doing until he saw Annie doing it because his mind works in the kind of way where he thinks he's either taking it all off or none at all.

The two of them silently continued to each take their socks off as well, both tossing their footwear down on the floor beside their side of the bed, once they were done that they each slid their newly bare feet down under the covers, getting comfortable.

"Okay, so are we good then? nothing else we need to do? I can just shut this thing off now?" Annie asks as she leans out over to the lantern.

"Yeah, go on ahead." Jack nods.

"Okay, just checking, though I suppose it doesn't really matter much." Annie shrugs.

"Why not?" Jack glances over.

To answer him, Annie smiles, then she reaches into her pocket and lifts out a cigarette lighter, small in size and black in color, with a flick of her thumb it was alight.

"Where'd you get that!?" Jack gapes.

"Young adults, remember?" Annie giggled "picked it up somewhere for like two bucks, no questions asked, I just saw it and figured 'hey, you know what would be useful? fire! whenever we need it, heat and light at just a flick away', come on, you gotta admit it's practical."

"Well _**obviously**_ , I'm just wondering why you didn't tell me sooner." said Jack.

"Because I was waiting for a good time, I got it after we went to India, and what with the treehouse only showing up once every few months, we haven't had a mission to use it on until now." Annie explains as she tucks it back away.

"Ah, alright then." Jack nods, laying back and closing his eyes.

Annie leaned back over the lantern, opening it and looking at the lit candle, just waiting to be blown out, her eyes moved to the dance of the flame, and her mind wandered.

"Oh! and by the way Jack, I just remembered, one last thing about the new you..." she starts, glancing back at him with a sly smile "...we don't know if it's effect is harmful or harmless, and that's where all the danger lies, but as for the effect itself, well, I don't know what you'd think, but me? I kinda like it." she quickly blows out the candle.

Darkness.

"...you do?" Jack's voice sounds curiously.

"Yeah! it's great, you keep getting us all this free stuff and it's honestly pretty hilarious to watch." Annie's voice replies.

"...huh." Jack obviously shrugs.

Moment of silence passes by.

"Hmmm." Annie hums happily as we hear her shift and move her pillows, "like this for instance." she says to Jack "this really is very cozy, and we probably wouldn't be here right now if it wasn't for you pretending to be so ill, allowing me to take the chance to convince them that giving us this was a good idea."

"Hmm." Jack thinks about what she said, as far as he could tell pretending to be ill was something he'd do normally.

"I'm really happy to be here..." Annie kept talking, tiredness in her voice "it's beautiful outside, despite how cold it is, but the cold's kept out there for us anyway... 'cause we went all the way from freezing to death outside, to sleeping in the best bed in the entire mountain range... that's how you do it, Jack, that's how you do it."

"No kidding." Jack replies tiredly back, his thoughts starting to blur around the edges.

"Of course we did it all without any help from Teddy and Kathleen, those two bastards wanted us to freeze out there, well we sure showed them..." Annie continues.

"The only problem that they gave us left is how we're going to find the damn flower for Penny." Jack observed.

"Ah, right, Penny..." Annie remembers "Penny would be happy out there, she'd love it, ironically."

"Yeah, she would." Jack agreed "but as for the flower, I guess we'll probably just find a way to swindle the stupid monks into taking care of that problem too, I should probably read the whole thing of our book just in case."

"Mm-hm..." Annie hummed.

"You falling asleep?" Jack asks.

"Yes, aren't you...?" Annie asks back, yawning.

"I'm tired, yeah, but I don't know..." Jack answers unsurely.

"Just try, it'll happen... probably..." Annie encourages him.

"Meh." Jack shrugs.

"G-good... night... Jack..." Annie manages to get out, reaching over to him and resting her hand on his shoulder comfortingly.

"Yeah, goodnight Annie." he returns, feeling her fall asleep.

Jack didn't know how long it took, but it felt like hours, eventually though, his thoughts all clouded up, his breathing smooth and steady, his eyes, which have now adjusted to the darkness, drifting closed, he felt it as sleep finally approached, and he embraced it.

And right then is when it started.

The singing.

It came loud and fast, a joyful, hearty tune, from the room on the floor directly below them, it hit Jack harder than a bucket of cold water could ever hope, and so his fury shot through the roof as he realized what was happening: there was a monk, in the room below them, singing, as loud as he could, at this hour of all times, fully waking Jack up just as he was seconds away from finally falling asleep, he sat up sharply in response, his back slouching with his aching need for rest.

"Huh!?" Annie's head shoots up too, her eyelids drooping over her surprised eyes as her ears prick the air "what the hell is that...!?" she demands tiredly, turning to look at Jack, who has a murderous, bloodshot stare, he was just sitting there, looking down at his hands with it.

" _I am going to_ _ **KILL**_ _whoever that is...!_ " Jack growls, swinging around and getting out of bed onto his feet, he was latching his hand around the knob of the door when the singing aruptly stopped, Jack stopped too, frozen in place with his hand around the doorknob, his ears listening for the singing to start up again, but nothing came.

"...well, looks like somebody beat you to it." Annie jokes, breaking the silence "are you okay, Jack? you looked really pissed off, they spook the crap out of you? or wake you up after you had a really rough time getting to sleep?" she was still very drowsy and had to shake her head a bit to keep from wavering.

"Y-yeah." Jack nodded "something like that."

"Huh, well, seems like they're all done now, come back to bed, we can get some more sleep." Annie said as she slumped back down and closed her eyes "don't worry about it, we'll make them pay tomorrow."

Jack let go of the doorknob, shook his head in disgust a bit, and went back to try and sleep some more, luckily this time it took only a few short minutes before he was out cold.


	4. Chapter 3: the Next Morning

**Chapter 3: the Next Morning.**

Jack opened his eyes, cold gray light came shining in through the now partly-open window, this of course casted a deep chill throughout the room, as all the heat literally flies out the window, luckily for Jack and Annie though, the thick, heavy blanket pinned down plenty of heat under itself, keeping them relatively warm so long as they didn't let it escape.

 _Where am I again?_ Jack thinks, sitting up and adjusting his askew glasses, as a result most of the heat instantly rushes out from under the blanket around him, making Jack shiver miserably as he looks around the room.

 _Oh... right._ he thinks unhappily, _I'm at the monastery._ he then looked to the side and saw that Annie was still sound asleep.

"Hey, Annie." Jack said softly, reaching over and gently shaking her "wake up now, will you?"

"Hm...?" Annie started to open her eyes tiredly, "Jack...? where are we again?" she asks confused as she blinks against the morning light.

"We're in the Swiss Alps, with the Saint Bernard monks." Jack reminded her.

"...oh, right." Annie says unhappily, shaking her head and sitting up, instantly the heat around her shot off for the window.

"Ahh!" Annie gasps as she clutches herself and shivers, immediately throwing herself back down on her back and holding the blanket over herself tightly "what the fuck!? who opened the window!?" she demanded furiously.

"I don't know, but if it wasn't me and it wasn't you, then I'd say it'd have to be monks." Jack states, laying back down himself.

"Well, do you wanna go close it? please?" Annie asked, sliding her hand back out with her lighter "I'll relight the lantern so we can see just fine."

"Oh fine I'll go." Jack agrees, he quickly gets out of bed and runs to the window as fast as he can, grabbing hold of the thick planks of wood and shoving them closed, making the room dark, Annie started the lighter and used it to relight the lantern as promised, Jack used the fresh lantern light to find and seal the bolt on the window, leaving it shut tight.

"Brrrrhrrhhrhrrhrr!" Jack shivers as he runs back, throwing the blanket over himself again, the room was still drained of it's heat, but now that the window was taken care of it would start to warm up again as time went by.

"S-so now what do we do?" Annie asks "should we go out and find Brother Michael?"

"Nah, I doubt he'll be there." Jack grumbles "we'll just stay in here for now, we can go in a short while I guess but I really think we should read up on the book while we have the chance."

"Oh yeah right, we probably should." Annie nods "very well, read it out loud to me will you?" she requests, laying on her back with her arms folded restfully behind her head, closing her eyes tiredly.

"Fine." Jack nods, reaching down and retrieving the book from their bag, he readjusted his pillows to hold him up in more of a sitting position and began to read out loud from the beginning "the Swiss Alps are a group of mountains located in-" is seriously as far as he gets before the door suddenly bangs open, and a Saint Bernard dog runs into the room, leaping up onto the bed in front of them.

"AHHHH!" Jack yelled.

"Whoa!" shouted Annie as she snapped back up, shocked into being fully awake.

The large dog jumped on top of Jack, his heavy paws crushing Jack's chest and his heavy tongue slathering over Jack's face, Jack tossed the book aside onto the floor and used both hands to try and fend off the giant animal, his nose full of the scent of the dog's breath, which smelled like rotting fish and crackers.

" _ **GETITOFF, GETITOFF!**_ " Jack's muffled voice shouted, begging for help.

"Hey! leave him alone!" Annie shouted in the dog's ears, leaping to her feet off of the side of the bed "come on! get me instead!" she gestured toward herself, her feet ready to run off at any second.

Almost immediately (which is not soon enough in Jack's opinion) the dog turned and bounded at Annie, she ducked and sprinted to the side, leaving the dog to fly face-first into the wall, dropping to the floor in a daze.

"Errrrrah-!" Annie shouted as she prepared to kick the dog in the side of it's head.

"Oh-no! Barry!" shouted Brother Michael frantically as he ran into the room, his hands in his hair with fret, Annie stopped mid-kick when she saw him.

" _ **Kill it...!**_ " Jack shouted out, he was too busy desperately cleaning his face to watch what was going on.

"Stop! everyone stop!" Brother Michael yelled as he ran inbetween Annie and the dog, holding out his hands peacefully, the dog's head cleared but it stayed down below Brother Michael's hand.

"*huff*...! okay...! *huff*...! is everybody good now...!?" Brother Michael asked, taking heavy breaths as the room calmed down.

"What the fuck!?" Jack demanded "is that thing one of yours!?"

Instantly the dog snapped it's gaze back onto Jack.

"Oh-no-!" Jack gasped, realizing what was coming: the dog bounded back up onto the bed, Jack threw himself under the covers to hide, but all that did was make the pooch start raking his paws against the blanket, as if trying to dig Jack out so he could get at him.

"OUT! Brother Henry, _help!_ " sounded Brother Michael's voice, a moment later Jack felt the dog's weight lift up and off of the bed, he dared to peek out from the covers and saw the two monks forcefully throwing the dog out into the hall, shutting the door behind it.

"My apologies to you both!" Brother Michael cried as he turned back to face Jack and Annie, bowing all submissively before them "I swear, nothing like it will happen again! please forgive me! I beg of you."

" _ **That thing nearly killed me...!**_ " Jack screamed, by now he was a shaky, shivering mess, his voice cracked and high-pitched with trauma, immediately Annie was by his side.

"Jack! Jack, are you okay!?" Annie demanded as she comfortingly put one arm around his shoulders and used the other to hold his quivering hands, "look what you've done!" she snaps at the monks before turning back to her brother "it's okay, Jack, just relax, the thing's gone now, everything'll be alright!" she tries to convince him, her own voice slightly cracked with worry.

"Hrrmmph! hrrmph!" the dog whimpers as it scratches it's paws against the other side of the door.

"IT'S STILL OUT THERE!" Jack gasps, falling limp in Annie's arms, his eyes wide with terror.

"Go! get rid of it! take it far away from here, then hurry back!" Brother Michael quietly instructs Brother Henry through nervously clenched teeth, the other monk nods and turns, quickly and carefully sliding out through the door, barely opening it, and closing it silently behind him.

It took Annie and Brother Michael several minutes to calm Jack down, by the time that was done Brother Henry was just returning, walking in to find Brother Michael rocking Jack back and forth like a baby in his arms.

 _...why does this not surprise me?_ Brother Henry thought.

"One-hundred-and-ninety-eight, one-hundred-and-ninety-nine, two-hundred." Brother Michael finishes, "there, are you alright now?" he asks as he lays Jack back down on his side of the bed.

"Do I _**look**_ like I'm alright!?" Jack responds rudely, laying there with his arms crossed all grumpy.

"I think this is as good as he's getting." Annie deduces, laying down on her side next to Jack, resting her head on her hand with her elbow propping it up, looking down at him sympathetically before turning back to the monks "so, why are you two here? was there something important you came to tell us, or were you just coming to wake us up if we weren't already?"

"Uh, both actually." Brother Michael states "first off, let me ask you how you are feeling now that you've rested, better? well enough to travel?" he asks hopefully.

"Well even if we did, we certainly don't anymore." Annie snarks, putting her free hand protectively on Jack's shoulder " _maybe_ we'll feel well enough later in the day to go out and search for our flowers for a while, but I doubt we'll actually be able to leave until sometime tomorrow."

"Yeah, and guess whose fault that is?" Jack adds, glaring at Brother Michael.

"I-is, is it his?" Brother Henry asks, pointing to his fellow monk.

"N-no, it's like, all of you, I mean like, the monastery as a whole, if you had collectively all just done a better job of training your filthy animals we wouldn't be in this awful state of condition." Jack claims "as a matter of fact, it actually goes even farther: if you had only done a couple things here and there differently, like, oh I don't know, didn't _**feed us poison,**_ than maybe we'd have been fine sooner and it wouldn't matter as much!"

The monks are at a loss for words.

"What was the next thing?" Annie asks, trying to get them to move it along.

"Uh, well..." Brother Michael starts uneasily "next up, I wanted to ask you to please let me also apologize for our being late, I got caught up with work and lost track of time."

"Wait, _what?_ " Jack's interest sparks "what do you mean, 'late'? what time is it!?"

"Past three-o'clock by now." Brother Henry says bluntly before Brother Michael can answer.

" _Ugh!_ " Jack and Annie react frustratedly.

" _ **Are you telling me that this whole ordeal with the mutt could've been avoided if you had simply woken us up on time!?**_ " Jack demands furiously, shocked at how much this was proving his previous point.

"Well, great, just great, and to top it off now we have even fewer hours of daylight to find flowers in." Annie complains bitterly.

"Uhh...!" Brother Michael breathes through his teeth nervously, deciding that he may as well just say the next thing and move on before they can berattle him more for his mistake "I uh, also wanted to apologize on behalf of Brother Oliver."

"Why? what did he do?" asked Annie.

"He uh, apparently didn't get the message that you were sleeping in Father Laurent's room, he did however see for himself that Father Laurent had left early, so as a result he wound up thinking that nobody was in here trying to sleep, so when he decided to make himself a midnight snack down below he didn't bother to do so quietly, luckily Brother Arnold heard him and rushed to silence him for you, we all hope his earnest mistake did not disturb you at all." Brother Michael says nervously.

"Brother Oliver is a _**dead man.**_ " Jack growls.

"*GASP*!" the two monks react.

"Ha-ha, oh, Jack, such the kidder, you." Annie pretends to laugh endearingly, giving Jack a playful shove.

" _ **I wasn't kidding.**_ " Jack growled through his teeth.

Annie shakes her head to the monks.

"I suppose he's also the one who opened our window when we were asleep and made us nearly freeze to death?" Jack guesses.

"Oh no, that was him." Brother Henry shakes his head and gestures roughly to Brother Michael.

"You!?" Annie's pissed "what did you do that for!?"

"Uh! it, it is a tradition here!" Brother Michael tries to explain "on the day of every battle we must open the windows to cleanse the monastery for the soon-arriving spirits!"

"What!? that's ridiculous, no we don't!" Brother Henry reacts.

"Shh-shh-shh-shh-shhhh!" Brother Michael beggingly shushes.

"Oh! uh, yeah, sure, that's what we do." Brother Henry nods.

"Uh, n-no, you're lying, you're lying...!" Jack raises his finger in protest "we can always tell."

"Alright!" Brother Michael gives in "it was sometime around 11:00 and you two were still asleep, the room was really dark so I opened the window for you so that you could see it was daylight if you woke up before I came back to wake you myself."

"I had nothing to do with it." Brother Henry affirms.

"Fine...!" Annie rolls her eyes irritably at Brother Michael "was there anything else, oh grand master of apologies?"

"Yes, I am afraid that Father Laurent has sent word that he would like every monk to come assist with the French Invasion, as such we will all be leaving within an hour, we should be back just before nightfall." Brother Michael informs them "you will have to care for yourselves during that time we are gone."

"Oh, come on! can't at least _one_ of you stay to help us? like, _you._ " Jack requests and gestures to Brother Michael.

"No, Father Laurent was very clear in his orders, he explicitly said to leave you here without anyone but the dogs for company." Brother Michael insists.

"That bastard." Annie says casually right to the monks' faces.

"In the meantime, we were hoping you would come dine with us before we go." Brother Michael offered "if there was anything else you had wanted to ask us about, it would be best to do so around the lunch table, we have little time left so I suggest we make the most of it, satisfying our hunger for food and knowledge alike."

"Holy fucking shit are you _asking me out?_ " Jack reacts in shock.

"What!?" Brother Michael's taken aback.

"You are! you are, aren't you!?" Jack continues "well, no thanks, 'Michael', I don't need your emotional turmoil dragging me down."

"This coming from the guy who insists on sitting on your lap?" Brother Henry shakes his head.

" _Hey,_ that's different! I'm sick and can't handle the harsh wood on my ass." Jack points out.

"Okay that's enough everyone!" Annie raises her hand for silence, "there's no time for this, we all know there's nothing going on between you two, so just forget about it, we'll come join you for lunch in a few minutes." she says to the monks "go wait for us down the hall, we'll be out when we've finished quickly talking amongst ourselves, alright?"

The two monks nodded and left the room, gladly, leaving Jack and Annie alone.

"Okay, Jack." Annie starts to him seriously as she sits up and shifts over to her side of the bed, swinging her legs out and putting her socks on "now I know how important it is we read the book, but there'll be time for that when they're gone, right now we need to focus on getting as much information on flowers from them as possible, so when we eat I'm going to basically interrogate them for everything they know, and what I really don't need is for the subject to change because they do something that pisses you off, so none of that, and I also really need you to help me out with the questioning, alright? if they change the subject, then switch it back to flowers, if somebody else comes over and starts talking, ask them what _they_ know about flowers, and if anyone doesn't give me a good, clear solid answer on something, then help me pry a better one from them, and of course I can't just talk and talk and talk and not eat, so every now and then I'll have to quickly take some time to eat a bit while you briefly take over the questioning, remember, don't talk about anything else, just make it very clear that we're apparently _**obsessed**_ with our job, and that we are simply not going to talk about anything else no matter how much they want to, if we do a good enough job, I think we just might have enough time and pull to convince them to do the hard work for us, then we can just up and go home, done."

"Alright, I'll try not to get bothered by all their _crap._ " Jack promises all grumbily as they finish tying their shoes and stand up.

"Thank you." Annie says appreciatively as she walks over and gives him a quick peck on the cheek, "now let's go." she leads the way.

The two of them walked out the door and called for the monks, who came immediately, Jack only had to pretend to limp and say the word and Brother Michael let him jump on his back again, Annie shook her head at Brother Henry's (reluctant) offer, making him cheer internally, the four of them then headed down through the monastery, to lunch.


	5. Chapter 4: the Worst Lunch Ever

**Chapter 4: the Worst Lunch Ever.**

The way to the dining hall was quite a long one, through many halls and down plenty of stairs, much to Brother Michael's unhappiness, he had already had a very busy day so far, so much that by the time they reached the dining hall his legs were starting to buckle a bit.

"Here we are, here we are...!" he said quickly, stopping right before the door to let Jack slowly get off him.

"I'm surprised he didn't apologize for nearly giving out on me..." Jack grumbles to Annie as he stepped away to give Brother Michael some air.

"Meh, he'll probably apologize for something else during lunch." Annie shrugs.

As Brother Henry opened the door, Jack and Annie could hear silverware and plates clinking, but no voices, once the door was fully open they followed the monks inside, the dining hall was quite large, but also quite cramped, on one side there was two long tables, at which sat around twenty monks, all eating their lunch quietly without a word to each other, they didn't even look up as Brother Michael and Brother Henry lead Jack and Annie to the end of the closer table, on the other side of the hall were all the Saint Bernards, lying around lazily, Jack made sure to walk beside Brother Michael in a manner that put him directly between Jack and the dogs, using the monk as both a shield and a hiding spot, just incase.

Jack and Annie sat down on one side of the bench, Brother Henry and Brother Michael sitting down on the other, the one that faces the dogs to be specific.

" **Oh god no...** " Jack groaned to himself as he looked down the table and saw that the monks were all eating soup, Annie shaking her head disappointedly as she follows his gaze.

"So..." Brother Michael called their attention back "seeing as how you did not seem to enjoy your soup yesterday-"

"Broth." Jack bitterly groaned with a small roll of his eyes.

"...I have requested that the cook make something different for you two especially, as you're our guests and all." Brother Michael just finishes.

"Oh you did!?" Annie perks up.

"Yes, look: here comes Brother Oliver with your food now." Brother Michael points to a fat, round-faced monk as he carries a tray of food over to their part of the table.

"Oliver, huh?" Jack's instantly interested, his eyes locking onto the portly monk.

"H-here is your food, Sir Jack and Miss Annie, I do hope you enjoy it." Brother Oliver says nervously as he gently sets the long tray down on the table, sweat forming on the top of his head as he forces himself to smile big and wide at them, he seemed to be praying internally that they weren't angry with him.

Jack just glares at him, his eyes sharp and his brows curved, not saying a word to the monk, Brother Oliver may not realize it, but he's actually getting off lucky, as Jack's eyes are merely angry, and not at all murderous like they were last night, still, Brother Oliver wasted no time in bowing respectfully to them before turning and leaving, sitting down on the far end of the other table, as far away from them as he could sit.

"Oh boy! this looks pretty good." Annie observes as she slides the tray over to in front of herself and Jack, it had a loaf of sliced monk bread, a stick of butter, two bowls of hot porridge, and two cups of hot sweetened tea.

"So long as it isn't broth." Jack shrugs, reaching over and taking the bowl and tea cup that was closer to him.

"Mmm!" Annie hums eagerly as she also starts setting her bowl and tea up in front of her, while she was doing that Jack took a careful sip of his tea, _Hm, it's not really bad._ he thought to himself.

"So...!" Annie starts talking to the monks casually as she starts buttering a slice of the bread "do either of you guys know a good place around here where we can find our flowers?"

"Hm, well no, not really at this time." Brother Michael answers thoughtfully.

"All the flowers are dead right now you see." Brother Henry explains.

"Yes, it has been a very harsh spring and winter this year." Brother Michael nods "in other years gone by there have been flowers at this time, but not this year I'm afraid, I'm sorry that your expedition has come at such a bad time, but there's not much we can do to help you."

 _Yep, we knew he was gonna apologize for something._ Jack thought smugly.

"In a couple weeks' time the flowers will start to appear though." Brother Henry thinks out loud "I've noticed the rate the snow's been melting, I predict there'll be plenty of flowers over the mountainsides in around a month, with them starting to appear in half that time as I said."

"Well then what are we supposed to do?" Jack scoffs, taking over momentarily while Annie eats her bread "leave and come back in a month?"

"Not necessarily, no." Brother Henry declines "you could always just stay here with us until then instead."

Brother Michael suddenly became very tense.

"Yeeeah, uh, I don't know if we can wait that long." Jack says unsurely.

"Probably not." Annie joins back in, having finished half of her bread slice and laying the other half back on the tray momentarily "we're very busy people, our colleagues back home are probably expecting us to head back within a week at the most, of course we could change plans and all, but I wouldn't want to burden you more than need be."

Brother Michael started to relax, his breathing returning to normal and his smile being more genuine, meanwhile, Jack tries his porridge, but finds it to be too hot for him still, so he reaches over and grabs a slice of bread for himself.

"You must really love flowers." Brother Henry observes, looking at Annie curiously "or finding them at least, seeing as how you've dedicated your life to collecting them, and how intently you focus on doing just that."

"So what? we take our jobs seriously, that's all." Jack says bluntly as he spreads butter over his bread "anyway, what else can you tell us about the flowers here?" he changes the conversation back to the flowers themselves, Jack dully notes the glint of approval in Annie's eyes as she glances at him.

"Well, I don't really know much to be honest." Brother Michael claims "Father Laurent is the one you should talk to, he knows the local plant and animal life better than any of the rest of us."

"Well that sounds great except for the fact that Father Laurent isn't here." Annie points out "just tell us everything you know, it might come in handy for us later."

"Well, alright I guess." Brother Michael agrees "just give me a moment to figure out where to start..." he drifts off thoughtfully.

 _Hmm, I guess the bread's alright._ Jack thinks, as he chewed his bread and waited for Brother Michael to get his shit together his mind and eyes began to wander, before he knew it he was looking up at the seemingly dirty ceiling, wondering how many monks died a year from filth just randomly dropping down onto their food, when suddenly, he heard a loud, excited panting noise coming from behind him.

Jack's point of view:

"Huh?" Jack turns around, his remaining bread held idlely in his right hand, and comes face-to-face with Barry's evil mug, " **AH!** " Jack gasps in surprise, throwing himself back against the table, surprising Annie and the two monks, meanwhile, Barry's eyes lock onto the bit of bread in Jack's hand, and with an excited yelp leaps up on his back paws and thrusts forward, his huge, slavering jaws clamming shut around Jack's hand.

Immediately sharp pain shot it's way up Jack's arm, his ears were then deafened by his own bloodcurdling shriek, he pulled weakly on his arm, but the dog held steady, in response Barry turned it into a full-out tug-of-war, pulling Jack down off of the bench, the side of his head smacking against the stone floor, but Barry didn't stop there, Jack felt himself being dragged along the floor, away from the tables, he could make out dizzy figures chasing after him, and the faint shouts those figures sent, in which he heard both his own and Barry's names, after a moment the pulling suddenly stopped, and he felt his arm hit the ground, free, he managed to flip his head to look at his hand desperately, what he saw was a mangled and bloody mess, with teethmarks lining the trail of pain, his vision blurred over as a somewhat familiar figure loomed over him, grabbing his shoulder and shaking him a bit, the blurred vision turned to black as he fell unconscious.

It was the worst lunch ever.

Annie's point of view:

"Huh?" Annie overhears Jack's expression of interest, she was drinking her tea and planned to turn and see what had caught his attention the moment she finishes.

" **AH!** " Jack gasps in surprise, throwing himself back against the table just before the last of the tea trickles into Annie's mouth, surprising her and the two monks, a loud yelp sounds and she turns just in time to see Barry's huge, slavering jaws clamming shut on Jack's right hand.

"Ja-!?" Annie starts to react.

" _ **EEEEEEERRRRAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**_ " Jack screams in agony, making Annie, along with everyone else, flinch away from him and cover their ears, Jack struggles briefly against Barry, but to no avail, the big dog then pulls Jack down off of the bench.

" _Urgh!_ " Jack grunts as Annie watches the side of his head smack against the stone floor, Annie, in a panic, leaps to her feet, grabbing her bowl of porridge and throwing it at Barry's head, but the dog turns and it hits his shoulder instead, making him whine and whimper in response to the pain, but he doesn't release Jack, Annie then reaches for Jack's bowl, but Barry realizes what she's doing and turns and bolts for it, dragging poor Jack along with him, Annie didn't know what else to do, so she took Jack's bowl and gave chase, this whole time the monks had just kinda been in stun, but now they snapped out of it, leaping to their own feet and following after Annie.

"STOP HIM! SOMEBODY KILL THAT THING!" Annie cried out into the halls ahead of them, "JACK!" she shouted after her brother.

"BARRY! COME BACK! DROP HIM, BARRY! STOP! HEEL!" the various monks called futilely, Brother Oliver running out of breath and dropping to his knees, the rest leaving him behind.

"YOU! STOP THAT DOG!" Annie yelled as Barry ran towards a tall, thin monk who was coming from the opposite direction, the monk dropped his scrolls all over the floor in surprise, Barry stomping over them without slowing down, the monk does however get enough grip on himself to grab Barry's collar, slowing the pooch down immensely, the dog reacts to this by ramming the poor monk against the stone wall, making him release Barry's collar and fall down clutching himself painfully, Annie leaps over him and continues the chase.

By now Barry was becoming tired, and the thin monk had bought Annie enough time to catch up enormously, Barry tripped a little and she got a chance for a perfect shot, she took it and threw Jack's bowl into the dog's back, he reacts by immediately dropping Jack and running off desperately without him, gone from sight.

"Jack...!? Jack!?" Annie yells as she slumps down beside her brother, finding his hand savaged by Barry and his breathing erratic, she grabs his shoulder and gives him a small shake, he seems to react at first, and her hopes skyrocket, but then her heart sinks as he driftingly falls unconscious.

Brother Michael slouches down over Jack beside Annie, reaching down and frantically wrapping a torn part of his own robes around Jack's hand to stop bloodflow.

"Come...!" he says urgently to Annie, "let us take him to the hospital wing."

He lifts Jack up in his arms and runs back the way they had came, Annie followed him, her own breath coming in worried huffs, as they rounded a corner she took the chance to look back quickly, her breath catching in her throat as she sees what appears to be Barry, returned, lapping up the puddle of Jack's blood they had left behind, a wild look creeping into his eyes.

This had been the worst lunch ever.

Soon...

Jack blinked open his eyes, he felt sore and weak, part of his head throbbed, but he tried to lift himself up to see where he was.

He was then greeted by the sight of Brother Michael's face, which just made him groan harder, Brother Michael then called for the others, Annie and Brother Henry ran over as fast as they could while Brother Michael helped Jack lift himself up into a drowsy sitting position.

"Jack?" Annie spoke softly "how are you feeling?"

"You alright, bud?" Brother Henry asked.

"W-what happened again...?" Jack asked, he then froze as he caught sight of his hand all bandaged up with thin white cloth, the memories starting to rush back "... **oh,** yeah, your stupid food nearly killed me AGAIN, this time with the dog's help! the two things that have posed the biggest threat to my life joined forces! speaking of which, where's the dog now? you BETTER tell me you have, or are at least planning to, KILL HIM for what he's done, seeing what the obvious menace he is to everyone."

"Uh, I am afraid not." Brother Michael says uneasily.

" _Nope...!_ " Annie growls furiously "they're just going to let it slide!"

"They're going to _**what?**_ " Jack asked through his bared teeth.

"Now, now, please let me explain..." Brother Michael started, "Barry didn't mean any harm, all he wanted was your bread-"

"And your blood." Annie interjects.

"I told you, you were probably imagining it." said Brother Michael.

"That's the lamest fucking excuse I've ever heard!" Jack snapped.

"Damn straight!" Annie said.

"It is pretty close minded." Brother Henry nodded to his fellow monk.

"I'm telling you all!" Annie insisted, "I SAW it! 'we' were carrying you away and I looked back and the bastard was going all vampire on the blood he made you spill on the floor!"

"I could see that." Brother Henry states thoughtfully.

"I'm sure he was just eating the oatmeal." Brother Michael suggests.

"The oatmeal was further along, it wasn't anywhere near the blood!" Annie protested.

"Well, we were in a hurry and it was a very tense situation." said Brother Michael, "it's enough to warp all kinds of perspectives, maybe your eyes showed you only what you were afraid to see."

"Do you see me murdering you right now?" threatened Jack, "'cause that's what you should be afraid of if you don't start taking her claims seriously."

"You have been through a lot today, you must be very tired and angry." Brother Michael reasoned, "please try to calm yourself."

"I'll calm down once that pooch is dead." Jack replies.

"Please, try to understand Barry's actions, I have told you that he merely wanted your bread, after that he must have believed you to be playing with him-" Brother Michael starts.

"I was fucking screaming." Jack reminds him.

"Which Barry probably perceived to be playful laughter." Brother Michael claims.

"Bullshit." Annie stated.

"Anyway, after that your sister here reacted most unprofessionally, she hurt Barry and that made him panic, everything he did after that can be attributed to her." Brother Michael explained.

"That was the most reasonable thing I possibly could have done." Annie argues.

"Wait!" Jack said, "you hurt him? when was that?"

"Right after the dog pulled you off of the table and broke your skull open." Brother Henry remembers.

"Ha!" Jack laughed, "good job! how'd you do it?"

"I smashed my bowl of porridge over his head." Annie answers proudly.

"Yes she did..." said Brother Michael.

" _ **Nice!**_ " Jack nodded.

"It wasn't enough though, and he went running off with you." Brother Henry informed him.

"Then I had to chase him down and do the same with your bowl." said Annie, " _then_ he let go."

"Aw man, good job saving me, sis!" Jack said.

"You do realize that we could have made him drop you sooner had she not hurt him and sent him dragging you all across the dining hall?" asked Brother Michael.

"Well, _yeah_ , _**maybe**_ , or _**maybe**_ he would have just torn my throat out right there." Jack countered.

"Not likely, but possible." Brother Henry shrugged.

Brother Michael just sighed tiredly.

"Well I certainly hope you at least took him away and locked him up on the other side of the monastery." Jack stated expectantly.

"Right now Barry is out in the monastery courtyard if that's good enough for you." said Brother Michael.

"Urgh, fine, just keep him locked out there and I won't complain." Jack groans.

 _About that._ he adds in his head.

"Is there anything else I should know?" Jack asks boredly.

"Well, as for your injuries, we cleaned and bandaged the wounds on your hand." said Brother Michael "they will heal in time."

"And as for your head, well, that's a lot more concerning." Annie takes over, flashing a bitter glance at Brother Michael "you probably have a concussion, so get ready for moments of dizziness and a loss of coordination."

"Ah, fuck...!" Jack curses frustratedly, this was not the type of shit he felt like having to deal with right now.

"Um, also, you've been out for a while now, so-" Brother Michael started.

"Oh yeah, that's right." Annie growls, stepping away from the monks and closer to Jack "he's ditching us!" she informs him "all the other monks have already left, and now he's going to go join them, and if that's not enough, he's making Henry go with him, leaving poor weakened me here to take care of you alone."

"What!?" Jack's outraged.

"The French need our help." Brother Michael insists earnestly, "I have already pushed it enough by staying here to take care of you while you were unconscious, now that you have woken up our excuse has expired, we must go to help."

"But if you go, then who's going to carry me places? who's going to cushion my ass when I want to sit down?" Jack demanded.

"Your sister will have to do that for you, or you'll have to go without help." Brother Michael answers.

"What!? but she's still not fully recovered herself yet!" Jack protests.

"Exactly." Annie agrees as she folds her arms and glares at Brother Michael.

"Listen, we will only be gone a few hours, once we're back we'll do whatever you want to help, but until then you'll just have to help eachother or yourselves, now fare well." Brother Michael insists, turning away for the door, "come along now, Brother Henry." he ordered as he disappeared 'round the doorway.

"Coming!" Brother Henry called after him, "sorry guys." he adds with an apologetic shrug before following Brother Michael, in a couple minutes they would both be out of the monastery and on the trail after the other monks, leaving Jack and Annie all alone in the large, quiet building.


	6. Chapter 5: Alone With the Dogs

**Chapter 5: Alone With the Dogs.**

" _ **I sure hope you realize that at this rate we won't fully recover until a year from now...!**_ " Jack yells after them, the message echoing throughout the empty halls, he and Annie wait silently, no response.

"Here..." Annie said quietly, handing Jack a slice of staling bread "eat up, you'll need your energy, especially after what happened at lunch, that awful experience would've taken more strength from you then it gave."

Jack groaned miserably in response, taking the bread and looking at it unhappily "great, just fantastic, this is just what we need right now."

"I know." Annie nods understandingly "but there's nothing we can do, we'll just have to roll with it."

"Yeah, it seems like we've been having to just roll with a lot of stuff." Jack grumbles bitterly "this is like, what, the fifth time I've nearly died on this god-forsaken mission?"

"That sounds about right." Annie agrees, watching Jack as he viciously wolfs down the bread slice "who knows how much larger that number'll grow."

"Well if things keep up like they have been, I'd say that we can definitely expect it to happen again at least once before they get back, maybe twice." Jack estimates.

"Well it seems to me like the best way to avoid that would be to find the damn flower and get out of here as quickly as possible." Annie deduces, stepping aside to stretch her arms tiredly "so come on, let's go get to work, first we'll read up our book and take it from there, so to Father Laurent's former room and our current one with us, can you walk just fine on your own?" she asks concerned.

"Yeah, probably." Jack nods "I never really needed help walking, I just liked making the monks do shit for us."

"Yeah, I know." Annie nods "but still, you were hurt pretty bad, so we'd better check."

"Alright." Jack agreed, he pulled himself up with a groan and stepped off of the hospital bed, taking soft steps across the room and back, everything seemed fine.

"Yeah, I'm good." Jack nodded.

"Great." Annie said relieved, walking over and putting her arm over his shoulder comfortingly "now let's go back to our room, if we can even find it that is." she says as she turns and guides him out the door into the hall.

"I think we came from this way." Annie said as she gently pulled Jack along, trying to remember the route she and the monks had taken to get there, it took her a while but she eventually found their way back to the dining hall.

"Yes! we're on the right track." Annie said all pleased with herself as she and Jack looked in, seeing the barren tables and the still sleeping dogs.

"Ughhuuhuhuh!" Jack shivered as he gazed on the Saint Bernards "come on then, let's keep going." he eagerly turned away.

"Wait! just rest here for now, I'll be back in a second." Annie orders, sliding through the door before Jack can stop her.

"Damn it, what now...!?" Jack cursed to himself as he quickly shut the door behind her and turned away, slouching down with his back against the wall, waiting in silence for about two minutes.

"Okay, I'm back!" Annie announces as she reappears, closing the door again behind her as she walked over to Jack, grabbing his hand and helping him stand straight.

"What did you run in there for anyway?" Jack instantly demanded once he was up.

"To get us these." Annie said as she pulled up the side of her jacket, showing him the handle of a knife tucked neatly into her belt, "here's yours." she continued, pulling out another knife from her pants' back-pocket and carefully holding it out to him, the long shiny blade gleaming in the torchlight.

"Ah, sweet...!" Jack gasped as he gently took the tool from her, admiring it's sharp and dangerous beauty.

"I grabbed the two best-looking ones I saw." Annie nods "I just figured that, you know, seeing as how we keep brushing with death, it would be handy to have these incase we need them for something, which will actually be quite likely considering how many damn uses these things pack."

"You got that right." Jack nodded "we can use them for all sorts of things, great idea."

"Thanks." Annie nods in return, "I also got these while I was at it." she adds, taking a couple small boxes out of her pocket.

"What are those?" Jack asked curiously.

"Boxes of crackers, since you never know when we may suddenly find ourselves cut off from food." Annie explains, "I figured we'd just stash them in your bag when we get back to the room, for us to carry around with us just incase we need to head out onto the mountainsides again or something of the sort, just so we won't starve right away at least."

"Oh, alright, that's a pretty good idea too." Jack nods approvingly.

"Mm-hm." Annie nods back, a mischievous twinkle shining in her eyes as she smiles playfully "but the knives are better."

"Much better." Jack agrees, lifting his jacket and tucking his knife away into his belt, he was glad that Annie kept making sure they were well prepared.

"Well, let's head back to our room then, we need to get there and plot our next move." Annie laughs smugly, she and Jack turn and start walking away, leaving the dining hall behind.

Now that they had found the dining hall, they could both try to remember together the way back to their room, they pieced it together pretty quick and easily, every time one of them made a minor error the other remembered the proper route, so it wasn't long before they made their way to the parlor, and from there it was a walk in the park to find their room, which they did flawlessly.

"Alright...!" Annie cheers as she runs up the hall ahead of Jack, reaching the door "now let's get busy finding this flower for Teddy and Kathleen so we can-" she starts as she opens the door wide "- _ **AHHHHHHHHHHHH!**_ " she screams as she looks in.

"What is it!?" Jack demanded as he sprinted to her side, looking in over her shoulder.

"No! no! stay back! don't...!" Annie panickingly tries to shove him aside, but it was too late, Jack saw everything, the window was hanging open with the bolt shattered, his side of the bed had been ravaged, his pillows and part of his side of the blanket were all torn up, and on the floor lay his bag, miraculously it itself was barely harmed, but it's contents were splayed out in a mess, his notebook lay torn to one side, his pencil was broken in two, the little blue bottle of magic potion had rolled just under the bed, where it was now all dusty, and worst of all, their book on the Alps was torn to shreds, and standing over it, his jaws full of pages, was Barry, the wild look from before shining in his bloodshot eyes, Jack figured out what was going on as fast as Annie had: Barry must've smelled Jack's scent through the window, sending him crazy with bloodlust, he then jumped up and broke the window open, sliding down into the room, where he proceeded to tear apart anything that had Jack's scent on it.

"Oh, fuck-" Jack breathes in awe.

" _ **Run!**_ " Annie yelled at Jack, forcefully knocking him back out of the dog's sight, she then leaned forward and grabbed the door's handle, pulling the thing closed as Barry charged for them, the door clicked and she immediately took her hand off the handle, the door shook violently upon Barry's impact, but held steady, Jack and Annie stood back cautiously.

"Do you think it'll hold!?" Jack wondered.

"It better, or else he'll be free to wander the monastery, and that's far too dangerous! if he comes out here then it's gonna be him or us!" Annie declares, drawing her knife.

"Maybe we can do the opposite! instead of locking him up somewhere, why don't we go lock ourselves up where he can't get us!?" Jack suggests nervously, the squeamish coward in him currently overpowering the trauma-induced snarker.

"I think if he can break down this door and get in through our locked window, he can probably get to us wherever else we go, unless you mean climbing up on the roof, which also might kill us, whether by freezing to death or by falling." Annie reasons.

"Damn it! you're right!" Jack curses frustratedly.

"Unfortunately so." Annie nods.

 **BOOM.** Barry hits the door again, harder this time, the wooden boards creaking.

"A-Annie! I'm scared!" Jack admits frightenedly, taking six rapid steps back from the door.

"Me too...!" Annie admits nervously, clenching her teeth with worry as she also walks a few steps back, getting closer to Jack while still holding her knife towards the door.

"Damn this dog! and all the monks for not killing him like we told them to!" Jack yells to release his pent-up stress.

 **BOOM.** Barry hits the door again, the boards creaking more.

"Well, regardless of whether or not he's going to bust out, we should probably get away from here." Annie decides.

"But if we do that, we won't know if he gets out or not! until it's too late." Jack argues.

"Yeah, it's risky, but I still think we should, it might discourage him if we're not directly outside the room like this, once he realizes we're gone he might decide it's not worth the effort anymore." Annie points out.

"Oh crap well if you put it that way-!" Jack starts to agree.

 **BOOM.** Barry hits the door again, busting it off one of it's hinges and making it hang loosely, cracks shooting over the boards.

"OH SHIT LET'S GO!" Annie shouts, grabbing Jack's hand with her free one and dragging him away down the hall, as they turned the corner Jack saw Barry's head burst out of the bottom of the door.

"Where should we go!? any ideas!?" Jack questioned as he struggled to keep up with Annie, what with her not being weakened by most of the crap he's had to deal with.

"Uhhhh...!" Annie thinks, "...got it!" she cheers with a snap of her fingers "we'll head to the dining hall."

"What!? why!? that's where all the other dogs are!" Jack exclaimed.

"Exactly." Annie nodded "they're all trained to be rescue dogs, right? loyal to humans? if we get to the other side of them then maybe one or more'll stand up against Barry on our behalf, the room's full of them so it seems likely that at least one will try to help us if it realizes we're in trouble."

"Yeah, or maybe they'll all just band together into a horde and tear us apart as a great big team." Jack snarks to cope with the trauma.

"I doubt that, as far as we've seen all the other dogs seem to be rather well tamed." Annie points out.

"Well Barry certainly isn't, why should we expect them to be?" Jack questions.

"It seems like Barry's the freak of the batch." Annie starts "he's always up and running around, the rest are all lazily sleeping, and don't forget that we don't really know if the monks were the dogs' trainers, for all we know they could all be gathered from villages a ways from here, we haven't seen any pups or anything after all, Barry could've had a completely different trainer, a very bad one mind you, from all the others, who all seem just fine."

"Okay, we'll give them a shot." Jack was still skeptical, but he admitted that they didn't have very many options "I just hope that... that... AH!" he trails off as his head floods with sudden dizziness, he gasps as he leans forward and his legs go wildly stumbling around, he loses his balance and goes falling flat on his face with a smack.

"Jack!?" Annie exclaims as she rapidly slows to a halt several feet ahead of him.

"Ahhhhhhhhh!" Jack yelled as he rolled over onto his back, clutching his forehead in agony.

" _ **Jack!**_ " he heard Annie yell urgently as he starts slowly lifting himself back on his feet with his eyes shut against the pain.

"Huh?" Jack opened his eyes just in time to see Barry jump up and slap his paws over Jack's shoulders, Jack gasped in terror as Barry pinned him down to the ground, Barry licked over Jack's face one, merciful time before snarling and downing his gaping jaws around Jack's head.

" _ **AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**_ " Annie winced and Barry's ears fell flat and tight against Jack's scream, it didn't daunt Barry's attack at all though, little squirts of blood shot up in the air as Barry shook Jack's head back and forth.

" _STOP!_ " Annie shrieked at Barry as she charged forward and dove her knife down at the side of the dog's throat, Barry jerked Jack to the right however and Annie's knife sunk three inches deep into his shoulder, Barry instantly howled in agony, releasing Jack and knocking Annie down on her ass as he leapt up on his backlegs, hitting her in the process, he shook himself and dislodged the knife, making it clatter down onto the floor beside Annie, Barry then turned around and ran wailing away from them, turning the corner and heading off to some unknown far-away location in the monastery, they had successfully fended him off, for now.

"Jack...?" Annie breathes as she turns her attention back over to her brother, shifting onto her knees and quickly crawling to him, leaving her bloody knife lying idlely on the floor for the moment.

"Ughhh...!" Jack groaned, his head still hurt from the previous impact and his temples and cheeks were lined with more bleeding teethmarks, thankfully the wounds weren't as deep as the ones on his hand, though there were slightly more of them.

"Oh thank goodness." Annie sighed all relieved as she found none of the teethmarks on his throat anywhere, signaling that he'll be fine, physically at least, "you're alright, relatively speaking of course."

"An-Ann-Annie...!" Jack stuttered, shakily reaching his hand up and grabbing tightly onto her's.

"It's okay, Jack, the dog's gone, we're safe now." Annie tries to comfort him "here, let's get you up and moving again, that should help get you out of shock faster...!"

Annie gently helped lift Jack back up onto his feet, he swayed around in her arms a bit for a few moments, but eventually stopped and stood relatively steady, and a few more minutes after that his rapid heartbeat started settling, he slowly but steadily regained a grip on himself, Annie's comforting helped immensely.

"O-okay...! I think I'm starting to do better now...!" Jack said softly, he then tried to wipe away some of his blood without thinking of it as blood, "here: take my glasses." he said as he took them off, passing them to Annie, they had blood on them too, droplets over the right lense.

"We're going to have to find something I can use to clean up with." Jack observed as his efforts fail and he just makes more of a mess of himself.

"Yes, we will, don't worry." Annie promises him assuringly "maybe you can use parts of the shredded pillowcases or something, come on, let's head back to our room, I know it won't be pretty, but we need to regather our stuff."

"O-okay, I understand." Jack nods uneasily, part of him freaked out at the thought of going back there, but he knew they couldn't just leave without their stuff.

"I'll tell you what, Jack, once we get our stuff back, BAM, we're out of here, it's back to the treehouse with us, how does that sound to you?" Annie proposes as she grabs her knife off the floor and the two of them walk along together on the way to their room.

"B-but what about-?" Jack starts.

"Penny? the flower? don't worry, I haven't forgotten about them." Annie assures him "I just don't fucking care anymore, that's all."

"Oh...!" Jack's mildly surprised "really?"

"Yep." Annie nods curtly "it's too dangerous, we've already nearly died several times, and things mostly just keep going from bad to worse, many of the past threats are still threats, and there's no telling what might suddenly be added to the pile, so no, I refuse to stay here any longer, our lives mean more to me than anything, Jack, we're getting out of here while we still can."

"B-but Penny...!" Jack half-protests "what about her? you have to still care, right?"

"Don't worry about it, we'll find another way." Annie says determinedly "we'll grab our stuff and go back home, then we'll kick back and recover from this failed attempt, and while we're at it we'll do our research there, we'll find out what flower it is we need and if we can't get one back home then we'll find a book that can take us here at a different time, during the summer where it'll be easy to find."

"Okay." Jack instantly agreed, no argument from him.

"I just hope that when we do come back, we don't run into an old-man version of Henry or Michael or anything." Annie states thoughtfully "they'd probably die of a heart attack at the sight of us."

"Yeah..." Jack nods, his mind drifting to how Barry shredded their guide book "I guess we're never coming here again even if we wanted to, what with the book being gone, I suppose we might be able to find another copy somewhere, but it'll probably belong to the library so we most likely won't be able to replace the one we lost, we might also be able to buy it but then that would cost money, which of course I don't have since I gave it all to Bing-Bing."

" **Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, Bing-Bing.** " Annie growls hatefully, narrowing her eyes and tightening her grip on Jack's hand, slightly hurting it.

"Ow...!" Jack says softly, Annie then loosened her grip again, Jack continued what he was saying before "so it doesn't look like we can replace the book, I sure hope Morgan won't be angry with us for losing it."

"Why would she be angry with us? it's all Teddy and Kathleen's fault, therefore, it's all their problem." Annie said uncaringly "we'll mention it to them, who knows, maybe they can find a way to replace it."

"Maybe." Jack agreed.

"Here we are." Annie observes as they round the corner, the door to their room was in shattered pieces all over the floor in the hallway, there was no sign of Barry anywhere, they walked forward and carefully stepped their way over the wood into the room and all it's messed-up glory.

"Okay, you get all the important stuff, I'll clean up the mess of pages." Annie decides, getting down on her knees and gathering the pages of their destroyed guidebook "we can't just leave them lying around here, many are still mostly readable, and they have information about the future on them, we can't let it fall into the monks' hands."

"Gotcha." Jack agreed, he scooped up his bag and peeked inside it to see if Barry had left anything at all untouched, sure enough there was nothing there but bits of dust and lint, he shook his head disappointedly, he turned and put his poor notebook and pencil away in it, he then got the potion out from under the bed and after cleaning it off with the bed's sheet he put it in the bag too, he also found the riddle scroll tucked away farther under the bed, he dusted it off too and threw it in his bag with the other crap.

"There, I think this is all of them." Annie announces, standing up and offering Jack the pile of pages, he took them and started stuffing them in the bag, "here's the crackers, we may as well keep them." Annie adds, passing him the boxes, he nods and stuffs them in too.

"So is that everything then?" Annie asks, putting her hands on her hips and standing tall as she looks around their desolated room, trying to create a feeling of dominance over their obstacles, seeing as how even though the room was scarred horribly, she and Jack were still alive and standing strong, it also helped her emotionally distance herself from their room, which she had honestly loved while it lasted, but now it was gone and they must leave it behind, the power stance helped her accept that.

"Yeah, I think so." Jack nods, standing up beside her, the bag slung over his shoulder, he limped a little under it as he picked up a large piece of pillowcase and began wiping his blood off of himself.

"You want me to carry that?" Annie immediately offered, her strong and somewhat cold stare softening up a bit with concern as she watched Jack grunt and shift a little under the bag's weight.

"Nah, I got it." he claims.

"Come on, give it here." Annie ordered anyway, holding her hand out.

"Fine, if you insist." Jack gives in and hands her the bag, he rolled his eyes at her but was obviously glad to be rid of it, the bag didn't weigh very much, but in his state of condition it felt ten times heavier than normal.

"Okay, if that is everything then let's be on our way back up to the treehouse." Annie says as she adjusts the bag over her shoulder as comfortably as it'll get.

"Okay..." Jack sighed sadly "I just wish we could've found the flower before we left."

"Yeah, me too, Jack." Annie nods "but we didn't, so we'll just have to try again some other time, it sucks, but it's the logical thing to do."

"I wish we could've found it easily, imagine if it was growing in the ground right outside the treehouse window." Jack daydreams.

"Oh man that would've been sweet." Annie nodded "whoever would've thought that the stupid flower would be so hard to find but the fucking emerald rose would be so easy."

"Yeah..." Jack nods.

Silence, they both think deeply.

" _...oh holy FUCK where's the emerald rose!?_ " Jack suddenly freaked.

"Huh?" Annie's confused "what do you mean?"

"The emerald rose was in the bag with the other stuff yesterday but when I looked in it just now it was completely empty!" Jack shouted, "WHERE IS IT!?" he cried as he threw himself down on the floor and began searching.

"What!? no! we can't lose the rose!" Annie stresses.

"I _**KNOW.**_ " Jack shouts agreement as he frantically searches "it'll be SO, HARD to find another one if we do!"

"I'll help!" Annie announces, tossing the bag of useless crap aside and joining Jack in the desperate search.

They looked on end for many minutes, nearly half-an-hour to be exact, checking every single little hole and crevice it could've fallen into, but to no avail, eventually they just sit down in the middle of the room and slump against each other's backs, breathing in awe and horror.

"I don't get it...!" Jack shakes his head confused "where can it be? there's like no way it went out the window, and the door was closed before we showed up."

Annie thought about it hard, until finally a dreadful thought crossed her mind and made shivers run through her.

"Jack..." she starts in that really serious and horrified way.

"Oh lord what is it now?" Jack groaned, praying that it's not as bad as it sounds like it's gonna be.

"I think the dog ate it." Annie suggests.

" _What?_ " Jack gasps.

"It looks like he tried to eat everything else." Annie gestures to the room "it only makes sense that he'd do the same with the rose."

"Oh-noooooo...!" Jack trails off in despair, resting his head against his hand "then what the hell are we gonna do now?"

"We're going to find the dog..." Annie starts, drawing and looking down at her knife in hesitant disgust "and we're going to get our emerald back."


	7. Chapter 6: Time to Die, Barry

**Chapter 6: Time to Die, Barry.**

"Really!?" Jack responded "do we _have_ to!?"

"Yes, Jack." Annie insists "if we don't, then we'll have to find a new one, and leaving this one here where it clearly doesn't belong is bad enough without that fact."

"Aw _**fuck**_ let's just get it over with." Jack groaned cryingly as he climbed up to his feet, tears were formed on the ends of his eyes.

"I hate it too, but it has to be done." Annie groans as she gets to her feet as well "come on, the sooner we find him the better, he has to be _somewhere_ in the monastery."

"Yeah, let's go." Jack nods, taking a nervous gulp.

Jack and Annie left their room behind and began searching the halls for the damn dog, they were only a few minutes into it when they suddenly heard a voice shouting from somewhere else in the monastery.

"*GASP*!" they both caught their breath, now since they were momentarily too excited by the appearance of other people to search around for Barry they instantly dashed in the direction of the voice as fast as they could, soon they came to the door which lead out to the gate which lead out into the mountainsides, there they found a single man in a military uniform, he had a black moustache and wore a blue and white coat with red cuffs and collar, white pants, and riding boots, he carried a sword on his hip.

"Ah zes, zou zere." he gestured to Jack and Annie, Jack tried to hide his teethmarks as they approached him "good aftzernoon, I am a member of ze French Army, here to azk if any of zou have zeen my partner? he vas zent ahead to zcout out ze terrain, but 'e haz not vreturned."

"I'm sorry, I afraid we haven't seen him." Jack shook his head.

"No we haven't, nobody else but you have come here since all the other monks left." said Annie, "we had to stay behind because Brother Jack here is ill, I volunteered to care for him."

"Oh, vell alvright zen, zank zou vor zor time." the soldier nodded, not seeming to really care why they were there, as he turned and laid his hand on the door he stopped, "oh, by ze vay..." he looked back at them, a glimmer of worry in his eyes "I'm avraid a large dog vran past me ven I opened ze door, he vran off and now'z I don'tz knowz vere 'e iz, butz he looked like 'e vas bleeding on his zhoulder, I am zorry if zat iz a bad zing."

"EEEE! you let him out!?" Annie shrieked.

"Zes, I'm zorry, I tried to ztop 'im but he vas juzt zo big, it zurprized me." the soldier apologized.

"Oh this is bad, this is really, really bad...!" Annie tried to steady her breathing, Jack, meanwhile, had fainted.

"Oh... zorry." the soldier said awkwardly, he wanted to help them but he needed to get back to his job, so he turned and left through the door, gone.

"Jack? Jack, wake up!" Annie demanded, grabbing Jack and shaking him awake.

"Ah jeez...!" Jack whined unhappily as he came to "what are we gonna do _now,_ Annie? we'll probably die if we chase him down out there."

"We won't if we're ready for it." Annie states.

"What the hell does that mean!?" Jack demands weakly.

"I mean we won't die if we're built for surviving out there." Annie said firmly, laying Jack back down and reaching into the bag.

"And how are we gonna be built for it?" Jack questioned from his spot on the floor "it's not something you can just _do,_ it takes generations of evolution."

"It's something we can and will just do, because we have this stuff on our side!" Annie announces as she pulls out the little blue bottle of potion, holding it triumphantly.

"Oh man right!" Jack instantly sprung up, scrambling to his feet "it'll only last for an hour, but that's better than nothing! let's do it!"

"So which animal do you want to be?" asked Annie "we should be something big and strong so we can kill Barry once we find him, polar bears?" she suggests.

"Hm, well we would get a great sense of smell with that which could easily help us find him..." Jack nods thoughtfully "but on the other hand, we'd probably be pretty slow on the move, especially since these are mountainsides and not flatlands, strength doesn't matter if we can't catch him, Barry will probably just outrun us everytime we get close, and most of the hour could whip by before we even find him if we are really slow."

"Okay then, what do you suggest?" Annie asks with a shrug.

"How about just a bigger and better version of what Barry himself is?" Jack suggests all cleverly, "Caucasian Shepards?"

"Awesome." Annie agrees.

Annie pulled the cork out of the bottle, "Ready?" she asked.

Jack nodded, "Ready."

Annie quickly downed half the potion and thrusted it into Jack's hand, he in turn quickly downed the other half and threw the bottle forcefully against the wall, shattering it.

" _ **Dah!**_ " Annie gasps as she shields her face from the glass shards, "JACK!" she snaps at him furiously.

" _I'm sorry I just got so caught up in the moment...!_ " Jack instantly regrets his decision.

"So you smash the bottle!?" Annie demands.

"Yeah!" Jack nods.

"Oh whatever!" Annie just forgets it, "think about being a Caucasian Shepard." she instructs.

"Way ahead of you!" Jack cheers, the two of them run outside as fast as they can, so that when they transform it won't be inside the monastery.

"Ya' know, if I didn't know for a fact that magic exists, then I wouldn't believe in this for a secon-Annie!?" Jack cuts off as he sees Annie collapse flat on her face in the snow, then like two seconds later he suddenly feels a force make him collapse down on his face beside her, the world went black around him, and he shook uncontrollably.

When the shaking stopped, Jack opened his eyes, he was feeling a little dizzy before downing the potion, but now his mind and perspective was clear, he lifted himself up to look at his body, he was covered in thick fur and had four sturdy legs holding him up.

Something soft brushed against Jack's back leg, he glanced over his shoulder and saw with joy that he had a tail now! he excitedly waved it back and forth, he also noticed a bunch of fat snowflakes drifting down onto his fur, he shook himself clumsily, trying to get rid of them, then when he realized how clean and fresh the snowflakes must be, as well as how _desperately thirsty_ he is, he instead started eating the snow on the ground in large bunches, making absolutely sure the whole way that every bite was perfectly clean of dirt or twigs or anything, only the best for his proud, majestic dog mouth.

But Jack stopped eating when he suddenly heard the barking of another Caucasian Shepard, he understood the language and grammar right away.

"JACK! JACK!" it said, he turned and saw the other dog standing just a few feet away from him, she was a bit smaller and had nicer fur, "STOP MESS AROUND, HAVE TO FIND BARRY!" the other dog barked.

"ANNIE!?" Jack barked back in surprise.

"YES, STUPID!" Annie barked back "COME FIND BARRY NOW!"

"FINE." Jack barked reluctantly.

"SMELL!" Annie ordered, the two of them sniffed around a bit until they found Barry's scent.

"HERE!" Jack barked, running along the scent trail, Annie followed behind him, they ran their way over rocks and snow-drifts, faster than they ever could've as humans or bears, they chased Barry's scent across the mountainside, it got stronger and stronger until they finally saw him, he stood on a small ridge up above Jack and Annie, his tail high in the air, when he saw them and recognized their scent he looked surprised.

"BARRY!" Jack barked up at him.

"IT US! ME ANNIE! HE JACK!" Annie added, testing to see if Barry would understand them, she didn't think he would seeing as how they're different breeds.

Barry ran down to meet them, looking confused.

"YOU DOGS!? HOW!? HOW!?" he demanded.

"MAGIC!" barked Jack, just giving him the truth to see what he'd make of it.

"OH, OKAY!" Barry sat down, taking it in casually, which is a very unsatisfying reaction for Jack.

"YOU UNDERSTAND US SPEAK!?" Annie questioned Barry, surprised.

"YES." Barry confirmed.

"HOW DO IT MAKE SENSE!?" Annie wondered "WE DIFFERENT BREED!"

"WHO CARE!?" Jack shrugs it off, now that he was in this situation he realized that he had a couple very important questions for Barry.

"WHY YOU ATTACK ME AS HUMAN!?" Jack instantly demanded first.

"WANT HUMAN JACK BLOOD, HUMAN JACK BLOOD MAKE BARRY HAPPY!" Barry answers.

"JACK NOT LIKE WHEN BARRY ATTACK JACK, HURTS JACK." Jack growled angrily in response.

"*GASP*! HUMANS FEEL PAIN LIKE DOGS!?" Barry's shocked.

" _ **YES!**_ " Jack and Annie bark back harshly.

"BARRY NOT KNOW THAT, BARRY VERY SORRY!" Barry apologized.

Jack was more than a little taken aback by this, "OH... WELL, IF THAT CASE, THEN JACK FORGIVE BAR-WWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAIIIIT MINUTE!" a thought suddenly crosses Jack's mind "YOU LYING TO JACK, BARRY!?"

"*GASP*! HOW JACK KNOW!?" Barry's shocked for real.

"BARRY FILTHY BASTARD! JACK KILL BARRY!" Jack barked furiously.

"ANNIE HELP JACK KILL BARRY, HELP! HELP!" Annie backs him up "JACK! JACK! KILL! KILL!", we reference Warrior Kitties.

Barry looked them over, he was smart enough to tell that a 1-vs.-2 battle with them most likely wouldn't end with him winning.

"WAIT! NO KILL POOR BARRY, PLEASE! PLEASE!" Barry begs, Jack and Annie both saw the genuine fear shining in his eyes as he spoke "LET BARRY LIVE, BARRY NOT ATTACK JACK ANYMORE, BARRY PROMISE!"

"WE KILL BARRY NOW, JACK?" Annie asked, completely ignoring Barry's pleas.

"HMMMMMMMMMM..." Jack thinks for a moment, enjoying holding Barry's fate in his paws "...NOT YET!" he decides, a dark thought starting to drift up from the back of his mind.

"BARRY, YOU ANSWER ALL JACK QUESTIONS IF WANT KEEP LIVING!" Jack instructs him.

"YES!" Barry agrees.

"FIRST ONE: WHEN YOU TEAR APART JACK AND ANNIE ROOM, YOU EAT SMALL GREEN ROCK OUT JACK BAG?" Jack asks, figuring he'd better get it out of the way first "YOU LIE TO JACK AGAIN, JACK KILL YOU MORE THAN EARLIER! LOTS MORE PAIN FOR BARRY SHOULD BARRY LIE TO JACK!"

"SMALL GREEN ROCK?" Barry repeated, "BARRY NO EAT SMALL GREEN ROCK, BARRY PROMISE, REALLY PROMISE!"

Jack and Annie stared hard into Barry's eyes, and luckily for him they only saw that he was most likely telling the truth, he was obviously terrified for his life, but seemed to be truthful this time.

"MAYBE WE KILL BARRY, JUST INCASE?" Annie suggests.

"NO, JACK WANT ASK BARRY MORE QUESTIONS!" Jack waves her off, now that he had the prospect of letting Barry live in mind he let his idea come floating along, quickly piecing it together all sinisterly.

"YOU LIKE MONKS, BARRY?" he asks.

"BARRY _**LOVE**_ MONKS!" Barry answered, some cheer in his voice.

"MONKS NO LOVE YOU...!" Jack responds teasingly.

"THEY NOT!?" Barry's surprised.

"NO, THEY TALK ABOUT KILLING BARRY, CONSTANTLY, THEY JUST WAITING FOR PERFECT CHANCE." Jack lies, while behind him Annie's jaw drops in confusion about what the hell her brother's doing "THEY HATE ALL DOGS, OTHER DOGS LIVE ONLY BECAUSE THEY LOOK AND ACT DEAD, BARRY DON'T, BARRY VERY ALIVE AND FUN, MONKS HATE ALIVE AND FUN, MONKS HATE BARRY, MONKS KILL BARRY, SIMPLE."

Barry looked very upset by this, "WHAT BARRY MUST DO MAKE THEM NOT HATE BARRY?" he wondered.

"NOT BE ALIVE AND FUN?" Annie snarks.

"BARRY NOT WANT TO DO THAT." Barry whimpered "WHAT ELSE BARRY DO?"

"BARRY SHOULD TEACH MONKS LESSON!" Jack suggests "FATHER LAURENT ALPHA MONK, BARRY FIGHT FATHER LAURENT AND WIN, THEN BARRY NEW ALPHA! MONKS DO WHAT BARRY SAY!"

"REALLY!?" Barry's interested.

"LISTEN, MAN...!" Jack growls "YOU MUST TRUST JACK WITH THIS, JACK LOOK OUT WHAT BEST FOR BARRY, JACK PROMISE!"

"BARRY TRUST JACK! BARRY JACK FRIEND! JACK BARRY FRIEND!" Barry nods.

"GOOOOOOD!" Jack fucking laughs.

Just then, a large crashing sounded, Jack's ears recognized the noise instantly, his blood froze with trauma, he couldn't bear to watch, so only Annie and Barry saw the avalanche fall down not far away, it missed them completely, but the sound still made Jack tremble with intense fear.

Just then, the one, single thing that could both snap Jack out of this state and reinforce it thoroughly came flying on the wind: the sound of someone screaming the exact same way Jack had screamed before he went under the snow, and nearly died.

"SOMEBODY IN TROUBLE!" Annie exclaimed "WE SHOULD HELP!"

Jack was torn: does he dare go back to the thing he feared most, or does he stand by and let someone else suffer while he cowers away from said thing? he had to make his moral decision now, before it was too late.

" _COME,_ _**ON!**_ " Annie growled, biting into Jack's scruff and pulling him along behind her as she ran to the man's rescue.

 _Twist ending to Jack's decision:_ _**he doesn't have a choice!**_

The three dogs ran as fast as they could to the avalanche site, which was easy since it wasn't very far, and immediately found a black hat and knapsack with buckles sitting around on top of the snow.

"NOBODY HERE, MUST HAVE BEEN GHOST...!" Jack deduces, he then tries to turn away but can't bring himself to do so, just as how he can't bring himself to walk up and smell the man's things.

Luckily for Jack, Barry had already sniffed out the man's position, "DIG HERE! DIG HERE!" he cheered at Jack and Annie as he scooped his paws into the snow.

Annie ran forward to help, and Jack, with part of him pulling away, forced his paws to follow them, step by step, slowly, but still doing it.

Before Jack knew it he was digging vigorously beside Annie and Barry, the three of them dug until they had fully recovered the unconscious man, dressed in his ruined white, blue and red uniform with it's brass buttons and leather boots.

"NOW LICK HIM!" Barry commanded excitedly, reaching down to lick the man.

"NO!" Jack protested, remembering how horrified he had been when his rescue dogs licked him "NO GET HIM WET, ONLY KILL HIM FASTER!"

"HE ALREADY WET, LICKING MIGHT BE WARM, MAYBE NOT!" Annie reasons with a neutral shrug.

"WE LICK!" Barry insists "IT ONLY WAY HE LIVE!"

Jack was torn once again, but now the choice was on a different scale: make the man suffer through what he had, or risk the man dying? this choice wasn't as difficult, and though it pained him to inflict his experience on someone else, Jack nodded to Barry, keeping him alive was more important than how they went about it, he bent down and started licking the man's hand, Annie licked his other hand and Barry licked his face, Jack hoped that the man wouldn't freak out.

After a moment, the man opened his eyes, getting a view full of Barry's face, he yelled in surprise and a bit of terror, before fainting unconscious again, this time his breathing was noticeable and steady.

"OKAY, WE TAKE HIM TO MONASTERY NOW, BEFORE COLD GETS HIM." Annie ordered, she, Jack, and Barry worked together to lift the man up over their backs, it was really hard but they did it, and set out on the way back to the monastery.

Balancing the man as they went was even harder, and at one point he stopped breathing so well so they stopped and licked him again, but after all their struggles, they got back, they were all merely a couple dozen yards from the door when suddenly Jack and Annie collapsed face-down on the ground, Barry yelped in surprise and started worriedly barking down at them, his mind was blown as he watched them brightly transform back into humans, their clothes appearing with them, though they quickly get soaked through in the wet snow.

Jack and Annie's heads both sprung up again, gasping for breath, they looked at each other, and then at Barry.

"I guess the magic hour's up." Annie breathes, Jack nodding agreement tiredly.

Barry barked down at them again.

"Yes, _Barry,_ we're in human form again." Jack growled "we chose to change back now since we're so close to the monastery, remember, if you even THINK about biting me, we'll transform back and tear you apart."

Barry seemed to get the message, bowing his head submissively.

Jack and Annie got to their shivering feet and carried the monk the rest of the way back between them, on their shoulders, they went through the gate and Jack was just reaching out for the handle when...!

 _Whoosh!_ Brother Henry opens the door to throw out a bowl of gross broth that he didn't want to eat, his jaw drops as he comes face-to-face with the group of rescuers.

"Holy fuck!" he openly cursed now that Brother Michael wasn't around "w-we thought you had decided to leave early!"

"Early!? you'll be lucky to get rid of us six weeks from now!" Jack responded, shivering like mad, "let us in!"

Brother Henry backed away immediately, letting Jack and Annie drag the soldier along while Barry trotted up from behind, Brother Henry called for help, and soon the soldier was taken from them and sent to a hospital bed to recover, Jack and Annie just stood around shivering in their wet clothes for a while, until Brother Henry came back, with him he carried two thick and bulky monk robes, slung over his arm.

"Here, you may change into these if you wish." he offered them the monk attire "you'll probably catch nasty colds if you stay in the clothes you're wearing, making you have to stay here for even longer, and of course _**nobody**_ else here wants that."

"Th-thanks...!" Annie nodded gratefully, taking the slightly smaller robe from him.

"You may change in the broom-closet over there if you want privacy, I'll understand it if you do, I'm like the only monk who does." Brother Henry goes on bitterly as he hands the other robe over to Jack.

"Th-thanks, Henry." Jack accepted it hastily, while Annie dashed in the closet and shut it behind her, "LOVE you, man! thanks bro!" he throws his arm over Henry's shoulders and shakes the guy affectionately.

Brother Henry nodded to Jack once respectfully, then left to continue helping with the soldier, as he walked away Jack caught sight of Brother Michael standing a short ways off, his mouth agape and his eyes wide with shock and horror, Jack then broke off the sight of him as Annie came back out with her new monk robes on and Jack went in to change, once he was done that they gave their wet clothes to a passing monk so he could drop them off in the laundry, the two of them stood outside the closet together with Barry for a few minutes, slowly warming themselves up again, until finally Brother Michael came along and walked up to them, he shooed Barry away to join the other dogs before turning to the brother and sister pair.

"Please follow me." he said completely emotionlessly "Father Laurent and the French Consul would like to talk with you, to be honest I don't know if it's good or bad, on one hand you saved the French soldier, but on the other hand Father Laurent has seen his bedroom's current condition."

"Hey! that wasn't our fault, man!" Annie starts to explain "shit got heavy when you were all gone."

"Did you say, ' _ **follow**_ you'?" Jack repeated.


	8. Chapter 7: Father Laurent 2

**Chapter 7: Father Laurent 2.**

Brother Michael and Brother Henry carried Jack and Annie into Father Laurent's office room, where they found Father Laurent waiting with a man of perfectly normal height, the man wore a fancy suit and his hair curled handsomely above his perfect face, Jack thought he looked familiar.

"Ah! Jack and Annie, our heroes...!" Father Laurent pretended to say cheerfully, a big fake smile across his face as he greeted them "we've heard that you two apparently found and rescued the one, single missing soldier, who absolutely none of my league of fine men and well trained dogs were able to find but you two somehow were despite having no experience and using the most defective dog my monastery has ever had!"

" _You got a_ _**problem,**_ _Laurent!?_ " Jack immediately demanded rudely.

"Me!? no! not at all!" Father Laurent lied, "Brother Michael, please go make sure the poor fellow is doing okay, and Brother Henry, it would be great if you could take him something to eat for when he wakes up."

"Yes, Father Laurent." both monks bowed and left, leaving only Jack, Annie, Father Laurent, and the sexy stud of a man.

"Jack, Annie..." Father Laurent nods to them, "may I present you with my _**best friend**_ , the First Consul of France, Napoleon Bonaparte!"

Jack and Annie both choked in surprise and awe.

"Ve are not best vriends, do not believe vat zis man tellz you, 'e is lying." Napoleon-fucking-Bonaparte stated calmly, giving a small bow to Jack and Annie.

"Y-you bet he is, Mr. Bonaparte, _Sir_...!" Jack stuttered a bit as he nodded agreement.

"B-b-but y-you said I could tell them we were-!" Father Laurent starts, cutting off when Napoleon raises his hand for silence irritably.

"I underztand zat you two rezspectable young adults have rezcued my man vrom an awful znowy grave." the French leader went on to Jack and Annie "zou both rizked zour lives to 'elp him, dezpite having no true obligazon to do zo, other zen out of zour own kindnesz and compaszon, for zat, you zall forever have ze gratitude of France, please accept zese." he held out a long, thin and shiny box.

"Gee, I'm, uh, not really sure what to say, other than 'thank you' of course, thank you very much." Annie nodded respectfully as she reached over and took the box, gently opening it to reveal two identical French military badges of honor.

"Aw, sweet!" Jack gasps excitedly, taking one of them and pinning it to the front of the chest of his monk robe, "we're heroes, Annie!" he cheered quietly.

"I know, and even real military heroes, we didn't earn these things through hurting anybody or anything! we got them by helping someone in need." Annie hushes back proudly.

"Excellent! ohhhhhh, I'm so happy for you...!" Father Laurent forces the words as he stares jealously.

"Just like you said, Napo-leon." Jack stated smugly "don't believe a thing that man tells you."

"Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha'z!" Napoleon laughed.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha('z)!" Jack, Annie, and Napoleon laughed together.

Father Laurent quickly became the room's Mr. Bumblepuss.

"Well, now that that's done...!" Father Laurent started once they'd stopped laughing "let me invite all three of you to dinner, hot tea and crumpets by the fire!" he declared, ringing a bell to summon a small servant monk, who comes running in right away.

"Hm'z, I don'tz know, I'm pretty buzy, but it does zound good..." Napoleon considers it, he was not feeling very hungry at the moment, so he didn't really mind such a pathetic dinner, it was really just a snack to him.

 _YES! come on, come on...!_ Father Laurent thinks excitedly.

"Aw, that reminds me! that was some seriously gross, ugh, what do you call it? Oh right, that was some seriously gross _**broth**_ you gave us yesterday, man." Jack started pushing the soup again.

 _Oh-no, not now...!_ Father Laurent thought in despair.

"Um, b-by that do you mean that the broth of the soup was gross or..." the small monk starts.

"Uh, oh no, just the broth like in it's entirety, like, _all_ of the broth, the broth like, as a whole, was like, _really_ gross." Jack states.

"And by broth you mean like, the soup?" the monk asks.

"Th-the broth." Jack nods.

"Jack's right, that stuff was gross." Annie adds bitterly "and you _still_ haven't apologized for it yet."

" **Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...!** " Father Laurent struggles with his temper.

"Ze vood 'e gave to zou zestureday vas gross?" asked Napoleon.

"Yeah, totally, super-gross, never eating here again, you'd have to _pay_ me to, I still wouldn't eat it anyway." Jack and Annie answer casually together, going Annie-Jack- Jack-Annie-Annie-Jack.

"...I vill be goingz now, varewell Jack andz Annie." Napoleon says goodbye, he then walks out and leaves.

"N-no! Mr. Bonaparte! come back, please...!" Father Laurent called after the French ruler, but to no avail.

"Wow, he sure was in a hurry to leave." Jack said observantly to Father Laurent "you must _really_ _ **suck**_ at keeping your guests happy, which, like, you totally do, I know that for a fact, firsthand experience."

Father Laurent twitched murderously as he slowly turned to face Jack and Annie, the small monk became very uncomfortable and ran the hell out of there, gone, Jack just grinned contently at the furious head monk, idly messing around with his medal.

"If you don't mind my asking..." Father Laurent started to the two siblings, his voice low and a little threatening "perhaps you could tell me why it is I came back to find my room in such disarray as it was?"

"Well, that all depends on whether or not you're willing to blame animals..." Jack starts, his voice and attitude cocky and bold "if so, then it's Barry's fault, if not, then it's _yours._ "

"Ha! that's so true." Annie laughed agreement.

" _Mine...?_ " Father Laurent repeated, his eyes widening with insult.

"Yes, I am afraid so..." Jack nodded glumly "it is a long and unfortunate tale however, and I feel not the strength nor the morale to tell you it, I think I would like to head back to bed soon, will you please send somebody to our room to repair and prepare it for us?"

"I have already sent monks to refurnish my room." said Father Laurent, specifically referring to it as his own room, "I was planning to sleep there tonight."

"Oh really? well then, we have a bit of a problem, don't we...?" Jack starts "you see, _**I**_ want the room, for us, so it looks like you're going to have to find somewhere else to sleep, how unfortunate."

"Actually, I was thinking maybe the two of you might like to find somewhere else, the room should really be returned to me." Father Laurent insists.

"Uh, no, that's not true at all, everybody knows it should stay with us until we have recovered, as per your monk hospitality." Jack insists back, reusing the hospitality excuse.

"We have been through a lot today, far moreso than anyone else here, including you." Annie says to Father Laurent "we really do require the best rest possible."

"Plus, what would the other monks think, let alone the French, if word got out that the great Father Laurent went and took the best room away from a pair of children after all the heroics they've done the very same day?" Jack adds in a threatening tone.

"Very well...!" Father Laurent tiredly throws his arms up in surrender to them "...I will think about it." he compromises.

"There's really nothing to think about, the room will be ours and that's that, I know you'll see it our way soon enough..." Jack says confidently, he and Annie turn and start to leave the head monk to himself, but then as they stepped through the doorway Jack suddenly paused.

"Ah yes...!" Jack starts as he looks back "by the way, may I have the name of the monk who carried my bag to our room for me yesterday?"

Annie raised an eyebrow at Jack in interest, she thought that they were just gonna leave it on that ominous note, she then glances back towards Father Laurent to see his answer.

"I believe it was Brother Oliver..." Father Laurent recalls thoughtfully "...hm, yes, yes it definitely was."

"I knew it." Jack said with a snap of his fingers.

"Why do you ask?" Father Laurent questioned.

"Mind your own shit that's why." Jack snaps disrespectfully, turning away again.

"*GASP*!" Annie catches her breath in shock.

"Huh!?" Jack instantly snaps his attention to her.

"Are you alright, Miss Annie?" asked Father Laurent.

"Oh yes, I'm fine, just a rather nasty hiccup is all, I've had a very hard day..." Annie lies to Father Laurent, pretending to sway on her feet tiredly.

"What is it?" Jack asked quietly as he leaned over and pretended to help her regain her balance.

" _ **Errm! erm-erm!**_ " Annie jabbed her head towards the left side of the room, the right side from Father Laurent's perspective, Jack looked over in the general direction she was gesturing, his own breath caught in his throat as he saw it too, sitting there on a small handtable next to Father Laurent's desk was a _**massive**_ book, over six inches deep, nearly as big as an averagely thin man's torso, the cover was hard and brown, but had a large fancy flower carved carefully into it, Jack could see the ends of leaves poking out the side between the pages, immediately he knew what it was: they were looking at a book made for stamping flowers into it, and by the looks of things people must've been busy doing just that.

"Are you two sure everything's alright?" Father Laurent asked, Jack and Annie having been standing there in silence for a long moment now.

"Oh! uh, no, no it is not." Jack turned back to the head monk "I uh, just remembered: Barry hurt himself really bad when we were out, he's really a very good dog and he's worked really, really hard today, and he seems to really like you, so, I was hoping that maybe you could go visit him on our behalf, if you could just do that for us, then we'll let you have the room and everything."

"Yes!" Annie nods, playing along "please go visit Barry, that's what matters to us most right now, that he's happy."

"Very well!" Father Laurent immediately cheers up, thinking that the visit for the room was one of the sweetest bargains he's ever made "I'll take you up on that, I shall visit him immediately."

"Yes, please, go now, the sooner you cheer him up the better!" Jack requests.

"Of course! come, come, now!" Father Laurent agreed, shuffling the two of them along ahead of him, making all three leave his office, he then turned and locked the door to it before eagerly striding past Jack and Annie "I will have Brother Henry arrange a new room for you...!" he called over his shoulder as he strode away, disappearing down the maze of halls.

Jack and Annie stood there in silence for a moment, waiting until they were certain he was a safe distance away.

"Okay he's gone." Jack nods finalizingly.

"Shame we had to give up the room." Annie commented.

"Oh I wouldn't be too sure about that...!" Jack stated confidently.

"Why not?" asked Annie.

"Because..." Jack's voice fell into a soft, hushed statement, directed seemingly more towards himself than Annie as he just stares straight forward into abyss "...all of the pieces are coming together."

"What pieces?" asked Annie "what are you talking about, Jack?"

"Oh don't worry, you'll see all in due time... everyone will see..." Jack stated mysteriously "...but as for right now, we need to get our hands on that book!" he snapped back to his normal(?) self, turning back to the locked office.

" _Urrrrrrrrrrgh!_ " Jack growled as he kicked the door with all his might, his foot connected with the wood and made it kinda quake a bit, but was nowhere near strong enough to break it.

"Try kicking off the door handle, I got an idea." Annie suggested, taking out her knife, which she still had, she'd just been keeping it hidden away from the monks' knowledge, Jack still had his too.

" _Urgh!_ " Jack kicks the doorknob, breaking it off and making it clatter and roll away on the floor.

"Good, now let's see..." Annie said as she slouched over what remained of the door handle, using the tip of her knife to carefully pick it, "...there!" she finished proudly as the door clicked, she then swung it open and they ran in, closing it behind them just incase somebody came by and was paying enough attention to notice if the door was open but wasn't paying enough attention to notice it if it was closed but had it's knob missing.

"I can't fucking believe it, the thing we needed was just sitting around in here the whole time!?" Annie said in pissed disbelief as she gently laid her hands on the sides of the book and lifted it up for her and Jack to see.

"I know, especially after I _**SPECIFICALLY ASKED**_ Michael and Henry if they had any flowers anywhere in this place...!" Jack growled furiously "I swear, if I get my hands on either of those lying-!"

"Calm down, Jack, they must've not known about this, I don't think they would've lied about anything that could get us out of here faster." Annie reasoned, "Henry especially has been very helpful to us don't forget, my best guess is that this is Father Laurent's _'_ _private'_ collection, seeing as how it's here in his office and not down in the museum."

"Hmm, yeah, I guess." Jack nodded.

"Ya'know, I didn't really think about it until now, but _**man**_ Father Laurent must be really conceited if he opened an entire museum dedicated to himself." Annie thinks out loud.

"Oh yeah, totally." Jack agreed.

"Hmmm, here! look, see...!" Annie opened the book to the first page and pointed to the words written there, "' _In the contents of this book lies my most precious treasures, for though I was often teased as a boy for wasting my time on them they still remain my greatest passion, I have spent many years gathering various specimens in putting this book together, and it is my wish that when I pass on it be added to my museum as the surprise main exhibit, where many more young flower-finders may learn from my hard work and experience, inside you will find all the flowers that can be found on or around the Swiss Alps, as well as their names, lifespans, purposes, meanings, and my own emotional thoughts on them, now go and learn about the incredible flora of the most beautiful mountains on earth, Amen._ ', signed ' _Father Laurent, Head Monk of the Saint Bernard Monastery._ '" Annie reads it out loud, "see, Jack? it's totally private, sure it was just sitting right out in the open, but it's clearly still private."

"Yeah, I guess." Jack nods.

"There must be _hundreds_ of different kinds in here...!" Annie breathed as she flipped through a couple dozen pages, each one containing a unique flower with a bunch of writing under it, "but we can't search through it here, that'll take way too long, we'll get caught for sure."

"Yes." Jack nodded agreement, "we're gonna have to sneak it all the way back to our room and go through it there."

"What room?" Annie asked "we gave ours up in trade for this, remember?"

"I told you not to be so sure of that." Jack reminded her "come on, we'll just get it back there for now, it'll all work out for us, trust me."

Annie sighed reluctantly, "Okay, but I sure hope you're right." she agreed.

"Thank you." Jack nodded as he went back to the door, "so here's how we're gonna do it..." he begins "I'll walk a short ways ahead and make sure we don't run into anyone, if I find somebody coming our way I'll do something crazy and divert them, you follow up behind with the book, try to hide it best you can if I encounter somebody, that way if I fail to stop them they may just go by and leave us in the clear."

"Alright." Annie nodded, wrapping the book tightly in her arms "even if someone does find us with it, maybe we can convince them that we got it from the library, or that we got it from Napoleon as thanks, or maybe if we're really lucky they just won't even care and'll ignore it."

"Mm-hm." Jack hummed and nodded agreement, "let's just do our best with whatever we can manage."


	9. Chapter 8: Jack's Master Plan

**Chapter 8: Jack's Master Plan.**

And so the two of them started slinking through the halls of the monastery, the way to the bedroom wasn't very far luckily, due to Father Laurent wanting his room and his office relatively close together so he didn't have to travel very far to get from one to the other, Jack and Annie were almost there when they heard footsteps coming towards them from ahead.

"Hide!" Jack ordered over his shoulder quietly, Annie nodded and ran behind the corner out of sight, Jack pretended to be just casually strolling along, looking around, after a moment Brother Henry came around the corner ahead.

"Ah! there you are, Sir Jack." Brother Henry said as he walked up and bowed to Jack respectfully "where's Miss Annie?" he asked.

"Oh, you know, she's around, somewhere, I'm just waiting to meet up with her here." Jack answered casually, "why do you wanna know?"

"Because," Brother Henry started gravely "I've been sent to find and inform you two that Father Laurent has just been attacked viciously by Barry, it seems like you were right about him all along."

" _ **Oh,**_ _really?_ " Jack said in mocking sarcasm, nodding his head erratically while laying his hands in his pockets "well, I'd hate to say 'I told you so', so I guess I'll just say 'this would never have happened if you had all just fucking listened to me'."

"Yes, that's very true." Brother Henry nods.

 _What about_ _ **me!?**_ _I told them so too! I was also right! it wasn't just Jack...!_ Annie thinks irritably as she eavesdrops on them.

"So, where is he now?" Jack asked.

"In the hospital wing, confined to bed for a week." Brother Henry answered.

"Oh, well, I was talking about the _dog_ , but thanks for that info anyway." Jack nods.

"Oh, Barry? he's locked up in the kennel with restraints clamped over his mouth." said Brother Henry "we haven't decided what's going to happen to him yet."

"Well, it's none of my concern what you do with him." Jack shrugs, "on one hand, he fucking tried to kill me multiple times, though on the other hand, I did somewhat bond with him while rescuing that French soldier, so I doubt he'll ever try it again."

"Ah yeah, I noticed Barry was helping you." Brother Henry nodded "that was a large part of my initial surprise."

"Yeah, it is pretty surprising, and honestly kind of sweet..." Jack nods "...but again on the other hand, he fucking tried to kill me multiple times, and I haven't forgotten all the pain he caused me..." Jack looked down at his bandaged hand, his eyebrows raising with surprise for a second as he moved his fingers, not feeling any pain whatsoever, it was the first time he'd noticed it, but it seemed like the transforming potion had healed his wounds, _nice,_ Jack thought about it, before remembering about Brother Henry and snapping out of his thoughts, "...so go ahead! do whatever you want, kill him, free him, doesn't matter." he states neutrally.

"We were going to discuss it tomorrow." Brother Henry explained with a nod, "in the meantime, it's beginning to get late, everyone should be getting to bed now."

"Aw yes, about that..." Jack starts smugly, "if Father Laurent is stuck in a hospital bed for a week, may me and Annie get his room again?"

"Sure, I don't see why not." Brother Henry shrugged, "would you like me to find Brother Michael and bring him here to carry you to the room, or can you manage fine on your own? it is only just a little bit that way." he gestured back down the way he had came.

"Hmm, *smack*, nah, I think I'll just wait here for Annie for now." Jack said, pretending to be thinking about it all very unsurely "if it is just a very short ways then I suppose I'll be okay on my own, Annie'll help me if I need it."

"Alright then, have a good sleep, tell Annie I said 'goodnight'." Brother Henry said with another respectful bow before turning around and heading away, "if either of you find yourselves getting hungry, don't forget to just knock on Brother Michael's door and get him to fetch you something!" he called over his shoulder.

"We won't...!" Jack called back, watching as Brother Henry turned the upward corner and disappeared off down the halls.

"...the coast is clear." Jack announced after a moment.

"You know, there was a decent chance that Laurent could've gotten away from Barry without being hurt enough to have to stay in the hospital." Annie pointed out as she walked into the hall to join Jack.

"Yeah, of course there was, but seeing as how Barry nearly killed me just because he liked the taste of my blood, I figured he'd be sure to do a more thorough job if his life was at stake." Jack reasoned.

"Uh, yeah, probably, if he was human..." Annie agreed, "but lots of animals fight harder for food than they actually do to save their lives."

"...oh shit you're right!" Jack realizes, "damn it! all well, at least it still worked out, huh?"

"Yeah, that's true." Annie nods with a pleased smile "I'm glad to have our room back."

"Me too." Jack agrees.

"Let's go see how it looks now that the carpenter monks have been at it!" Annie says excitedly, striding past Jack.

"You bet!" Jack agrees, running off ahead to make sure the way was clear.

They swiftly got to the room without running into anyone else, Jack opened the door a bit and let Annie quickly scurry in through the crack, he hastily looked out over the hall one last time to make sure nobody had saw them, then closed the door promptly, the doorknob clicking as it shut.

"Wow! the place looks pretty great!" Jack heard Annie exclaim, he turned around and saw that absolutely everything Barry had broken or destroyed had been replaced with newer, nicer, sleeker versions, even the stuff that was there already like the mirror and the bed rack was freshly cleaned, polished, and shiny, the new window was bolted up tightly, keeping all the cold air out, and there was already a lantern lit and flickering in the lantern-holder on the bedside-table.

"Let's see how well the new blanket holds up...!" Annie said eagerly as she put the big book of flowers aside and rolled onto the bed again, sliding her arms across the new blanket's surface, "seems pretty good!" she announces to Jack.

"Yeah very nice, uhhhh..." Jack waved her off "I'm just going to go do somethin' real quick, okay?"

"What!? but we just got here!" Annie reacts surprised.

"Yeah, I know, but I should really go do it now, I'll try to be quick, alright?" Jack insisted "why don't you get started on the book while I'm gone?" he suggested as he walked for the door.

"What are you going to do!?" Annie demanded as Jack put his hand on the doorknob.

"I'll tell you when I get back, okay? I swear." Jack promised as he opened the door and stepped out.

"Jack!? no! come back here!" Annie called after him "we're a team-!" he shut the door and ran off.

"UGH, the nerve of that guy!" Annie growled irritably, after a moment she sighed and got up to her feet, she retrieved the big book of flowers and laid back relaxfully on her side of the bed.

"Okay, you yellow and white bastard..." she talked to the flower as she opened it up to the second page, "where are you...?"

Soon...

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no-" Annie said boredly to herself as she flipped through the many pages, looking only at each flower's colors and nothing else.

 _BAM!-BAM!_ she's interrupted as Jack suddenly bursts into the room and quickly shuts the door behind him, throwing his back against it to hold it closed, he was breathing deep, tired breaths, his heart was pounding.

"What the hell did you DO!?" Annie instantly demanded, both angrily and worriedly, she puts the book of flowers aside and sits up straighter to look at him.

"I...! got this back for us...!" Jack gasped, holding up a small, glittering green thing.

"Ohhhhhh, my, lord...!" Annie stretched her eyes and raised her hand over her mouth in awe "th-that's the...?"

"Here you are...!" Jack said as he stumbled his way over to the bed and leaned against it for support, "one emerald rose." he said as he reached over and dropped the gem in front of her, she quickly scooped it up and examined it, her mind blown.

"H-how did you-? where was it!?" she stammered "how'd you find it!?"

"W-well...!" Jack began tiredly, "you see..."

Enter Flashback:

"Mmmm! those Frenchmen sure do know how to cook...!" Brother Oliver said happily to himself as he carried a bowl of water and a towel into his room, which is extremely small compared to Father Laurent's, with only enough room for his bed and a dresser, on the wall above of which was a small mirror.

He set the bowl of water on top of the dresser and put the towel aside, he then bent forward and began scrubbing his face with his hands inside of the water bowl, cleaning his face of all the grease and stuff he had got on it from dinner, he pulled himself back up out of the water bowl, his head dripping rapidly and his eyes shut tight against the water, he grabs the towel blindly and uses it to soak up all the water off his head, he then tosses the towel aside again, all with his eyes still closed tight.

 _Boom._ goes the dark music as he opens his eyes to see the mirror reflecting the image of Jack standing behind him.

"AHHHH-*choke*!" he reacts, spinning around to face Jack, who simply grabs the fat man by the throat and squeezes tightly.

"I know you have it..." Jack states, staring Brother Oliver in the eye with his murderous glare, "give it back to me, _**now.**_ " he demands.

"I-! I-eh! I d-don't know what...! you're talking about...!" Brother Oliver replies.

"You are lying, I know you took it..." Jack repeats, "I want it back, give to me what you know is mine."

"Y-you're crazy...!" Brother Oliver gasped.

"No, you were crazy to think you could keep it from me, now you know better...!" Jack growled in response.

 _Crrrsh!_ the mirror cracks as Jack thrusted the monk into the dresser.

"O-okay...! I'll give it back...! I'll do anything just _please don't kill me...!_ " Brother Oliver started crying, he scrambled his hand around in his robe pocket and pulled out the tiny emerald rose, dropping it on the floor at Jack's feet.

" _ **Good.**_ " Jack growled, he then quickly knee'd Brother Oliver in the balls, and while the monk was gasping in agony he scooped up the glittering emerald and ran the hell out of there like a coward.

Leave Flashback:

"-and then I ran all the way back here, without ever stopping." Jack finishes, having recovered his breath by now.

"Holy shit what were you thinking!?" Annie demanded.

"I was thinking I would get our emerald back." Jack answered plainly.

"What if he didn't have it!?" Annie suggested.

"Ohhh I knew he had it." Jack nodded "don't you see, Annie? it all makes sense! he was the man who brought our bag here to our room, he probably went through the whole thing and only took the rose because he thought it was the only thing of value, he then celebrated that night by making himself a midnight snack, singing joyfully all the way because he thought he struck it rich, and then the next day he was all nervous when bringing us our food because he knew he had stole from us and was just praying that we hadn't discovered yet, and hopefully we never would until it was too late!"

"Uhh, no, Jack, that doesn't seem very likely, I'm pretty sure he probably just found it outside our room, or maybe he was one of the monks sent to fix it up and he found it then and just tucked it in his pocket for the time being, he was probably intending to give it back to us at some point..." Annie said nervously "to be honest I think you just got really, crazy lucky."

"NO! it wasn't luck! none of it was luck!" Jack protests, leaping to his feet and pacing around the room "don't you see, Annie!? it was all part of my _**master plan**_ , everything was! letting Barry live, eliminating Father Laurent, getting the flowers from his office, saving the soldier to get us into his office, getting us this room, getting Laurent to help me track down the emerald, it was all me! with help from you, look! I made us go from no base and no magic items to having this base and _**both**_ magic items!" he claims.

Silence.

"...Jack?" Annie said softly "y-you do know that's bullshit, right?"

Jack glanced around awkwardly.

"...yes." he claims defensively "of course I do, why wouldn't I?"

"Whew...! good." Annie breathes relieved, rubbing her hand over her forehead "I was starting to worry this place was getting to you."

"Whoa there now, hold on...!" Jack raised his hands "I wasn't finished: I know that _most_ of that was bullshit, but you have to admit that I figured out where the emerald was."

"No, Jack, you _guessed_ where the emerald was, and got lucky." said Annie "like I said, he probably found it while they were fixing in here up."

"No! he stole it out of the bag god damn it!" Jack insisted "I already gave you a perfect breakdown of what happened! what more do you need!?"

"Jack, first off, he was clearly nervous around us earlier because of the singing." Annie explains "and what value would the thing even really carry? it doesn't seem like he can sell it real easily, and as for the midnight snack, he likes to eat! a lot looks like, and he was singing because he was happy to be eating and didn't know that we were in here trying to sleep, I don't really have any defense for the fact that he did have the perfect chance to take it when he was dropping our bag off though, so I guess I'll give you that one- _heeeeeey,_ wait a second...!" Annie realizes something "how would he have been able to not know we were going to be sleeping here, if he's the one who dropped off our bag?" her brows start to curve angrily as she puts the pieces together "unless... he _**did**_ know, and I'll bet that he also knew that he wouldn't be able to keep a straight face if he wound up anywhere near us the next day, and therefore only went and pulled the singing stunt so that he'd have an excuse to act nervous around us if he found himself in that situation!"

Yes, everyone, that is what canonically happened.

" _YES!_ " Jack yelled frustratedly " _that's what I'm_ _ **trying**_ _to tell you!_ "

"No, it's not!" Annie protested "you said he was celebrating!"

"I uh, meant covering his tracks." Jack insisted awkwardly.

Silence.

"...*sigh*, alright then, Jack, your deduction may not have been perfect, but you did figure out where the emerald went, and got it back for us safe and sound." Annie lets him have it.

"Yes! finally some recognition for all my hard work...!" said Jack as he sat back down on his side of the bed and kicked back comfortably, "oh, and by the way, you forgot the fact that he continually avoided us despite claiming to be 'sorry' about the singing, he never made any real attempt to reconcile with you or me, just that incredibly cheap, obviously forced one where he brought us our lunch, after that: nothing, he just went and sat as far away from us as possible, and that's exactly what he's continued to do ever since, I did see him briefly when we brought back the soldier, he didn't even look me in the eye as he walked right past me on some errand, he was getting all sweaty on top again too, which is pretty extreme for someone whose only harm they've ever done to us is disturb our sleep, it's also likely that he's been excusing this behavior to the other monks by hiding it under the guise of 'giving us our space', which of course is the absolutely perfect excuse to fall back on should either of us confront him about it."

"Wait..." Annie looked at Jack confused "...so, you actually _**did**_ figure it out!? like, the way I was saying!?"

"Tsk, yeah." Jack shrugged "come on, you didn't really think I was so stupid to think he was 'celebrating', did you? I was just messing around to see if maybe I could trigger you into _figuring it out on your own_ , _and you did,_ mostly, _so nice job, sis._ "

"Oh for fuck's sake...!" Annie breathes both frustratedly and relieved at the same time "so then how did your thoughtline really go?"

"Well, I started figuring it out when the idea that it could've been the monk that ran our bag crossed my mind on our way to kill Barry, so I questioned him, when he said that he didn't eat it I believed he was telling the truth, so I let him live with the back-up plan part of having him attack Laurent, just incase we needed Laurent out of the picture at some point, which we did." Jack remembers "anyway, so then I did ask Laurent who it was that ran the bag, planning to make whoever he said my new main suspect, and when he told me it was Oliver, I started thinking about it and realized almost right away that it completely contradicted Oliver's story, so then I just about had him caught, little more thinking time later and I figured out how the singing must've been a stunt and all that other crap, so then I tucked it away to the back of my mind and switched my first priority to helping you steal the flower book, once that was done I headed off to meet my adversary, I got the gem back from him and now here we are, living the sweet life, or as sweet as life gets around here anyway."

"What about when you shouted 'I knew it!' after Laurent told you it was Oliver?" Annie asks "were you just going to do that no matter who he said?"

"Yep." Jack nods, "don't feel bad about not figuring it out yourself right away." he adds "you were distracted by the flower book, the only reason I figured it out so quickly was because I already had the wheels rolling in my head."

"Thanks." Annie nodded thoughtfully, "why do you think he stole it?" she asked.

"Who knows, maybe he thought it was pretty, maybe he did think he could somehow sell it, maybe both." Jack shrugs "the motive is the one thing I didn't unlock the secret to."

"Guess we'll probably never know, huh?" Annie wonders "unless we ask him."

"In-interrogate." Jack corrects her, holding up his finger correctively.

"Okay, then I guess we'll just never know unless we interrogate him." Annie said with a smile, "yeah, you're right." she nods "that is a funner way to put it."


	10. Chapter 9: the Answers

**Chapter 9: the Answers.**

Peaceful silence then went ticking by, they both just lay there looking up at the ceiling, Annie swaying her bent knees back and forth a bit.

"So, how's finding the flower coming along?" Jack asked curiously.

"Not terribly well..." Annie said tiredly as she sat back up and pulled the flower book back over to herself, "I'm only a small ways in, there's loads more pages to check."

"You wanna read me some of the stupid things Laurent wrote down in there?" Jack suggested.

"Sure..." Annie nodded as she flipped the page "Alpine Rock-Jasmine, can be found in the summer among rocks."

"I betcha you can also find it not among rocks." Jack instantly snarked.

"Marsh Marigold." Annie continued "can be found in the southern-most mountains."

"Let's plant some in the north sometime." Jack suggested.

"Mouse-Ear Chickweed." Annie moved on, smiling widely at Jack's jokes "it's 'adorable' petals look like 'mouses ears', he didn't say 'mice' or 'mouse's'."

"Lol, go home and learn proper grammar, noob!" Jack said tauntingly.

"Ha-ha-ha!" Annie laughed, "this is fun!" she said happier than anything else she'd said all day.

"I know." Jack nods as he starts to get up, "just give a me a second to go 'ask' Paste to get his lazy ass out of bed and fetch us some damn food." he requests, "I'm starving, and if we're gonna pull a great big all-nighter trying to find the flower we need in there, I'd rather not do so hungry."

"Okay." Annie nodded, "make sure he gets us something good."

"Anything but broth?" Jack asked as he opened the door.

"Anything but broth." Annie nodded, "but also hopefully something better than bread and butter or something cheap and easy like that."

"It looked to me like Oliver had grease on his face when he was washing up, that's a good sign." Jack remembers.

"Just ask him what they all had for dinner, maybe the French people made something, see if we could get that." Annie suggests.

"Three roasted french hens and a tray of escargot coming right up!" Jack joked as he left, closing the door behind him.

"Hmm..." Annie looked back down at the book, "no, no, no, no, no, no, no-"

Soon...

"-no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no-hold on!" Annie stopped, looking down at white flowers with bright yellow centers "hm, nah, these couldn't possibly be it, could they?"

"I'm back!" Jack announced as he opened the door, Brother Michael could be seen tiredly stumbling away behind him.

"'I' got us some dry pork sandwiches and a jug of apple juice." Jack said as he laid the things down on the floor "I asked for mayo on the sandwiches, but he said they didn't have any, no mustard either, only, *chokes*, butter."

"OH COME ON!" Annie yelled in outrage "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?"

"Yeah, I know it sucks." Jack nods "you better believe I snarked the hell out at Paste for it."

"No, no, not you!" Annie waves him off "Teddy and Kathleen!"

"Ooh! what did they do?" Jack asks as he sits back and grabs a sandwich.

"Look at these!" Annie holds up the white-petaled and yellow-centered flowers "do you know what these are!?"

"Are those the flowers we need?" Jack guesses.

"Looks like it!" Annie nods, "care to guess what _kind_ of flower they are?"

"Hm?" Jack leaned forward to see better, adjusting his glasses "I certainly don't know, what are they?" he shrugs.

"These...! are...! buttercups...!" Annie growled.

"Buttercups?" Jack repeats.

"Yes! perfectly, normal, buttercups." Annie stresses "the exact same flower Mom has been successfully growing in the frontyard flowerbed for the past nine years."

" _ ***CRK!***_ " Jack instantly chokes on his sandwich, going into a raging fit of coughing before finally being able to speak again, "ARE YOU KIDDING!?" he demands.

"No! that's what I said!" Annie said furiously "look what Laurent wrote down about them: 'these flowers represent childhood, a time whose joy to me felt like it only lasted an hour', it fits the riddle perfectly."

"N-no, just no! this _can't_ be the answer, _fucking_ _ **buttercups**_ _, can not, be, the answer!_ " Jack goes into denial "they CAN'T, just, do that, to us...!"

"It's over, Jack..." Annie said defeatedly "we both know this is exactly what they'd pull, it's revenge, revenge for how well we conquered the last mission, I thought they had already gotten that with the avalanche two minutes into this, but no, that was merely the warm-up, and all the other crap we've also gone through until now was also just a bunch of warm-ups, this, Jack, _this_ is their true revenge, the final blow that makes all the past ones hurt twice as much."

Jack sniffed loudly, trying to wipe away his tears as they formed, Annie was on the verge of crying too.

"B-but hey...! y-you know what...?" Annie asked softly, forcing a smile.

"W-what...?" asked Jack.

Silence.

"...I DON'T KNOW!" Annie admits "THERE IS NO BRIGHT SIDE!"

"WHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" they cry.

Meanwhile...

"YES!" Teddy cheered as we find him and Kathleen kicked back on Merlin's couch together, watching Jack and Annie cry on the MagicVision, which is basically a TV that uses magic to let you watch things like you would from a crystal ball or something, only much bigger and clearer.

"We did it!" Kathleen shouted victoriously "we FINALLY broke them! oh, _happy day...!_ "

"Our months of plotting have finally paid off! why, this calls for a celebration!" Teddy announces as he pops the cork out of Morgan's favorite bottle of wine, pouring them each a glass and passing one to Kathleen, "to us, and our deviousness!" he toasts.

"Well, wine has been known to cause uncontrollable spasms among my race before, but what the hell!" Kathleen downed her's immediately.

"Ah! that's good...!" Teddy says to himself as he takes his time with his.

"Uhhguhghuhg- _ **oof!**_ " Kathleen spazzed around a bit before jerking towards Teddy, and more specifically, his wine glass.

"EEP!" Teddy instantly raised his glass into the air, making Kathleen miss it, "wahoo!" he cheered triumphantly, but his happiness didn't last long, as Kathleen then instead dropped on top of the MagicVision remote.

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. the channel changes to static.

" **AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!** " Teddy and Kathleen scream in horror.

"GET IT BACK! GET IT BACK!" Kathleen demanded as she rolled off Teddy.

"I'M TRYING! I'M TRYING!" Teddy screamed as he threw his wine glass aside carelessly and scooped up the remote in both hands.

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ-"-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...!" Jack and Annie crying comes back.

" _Whew...!_ " Teddy and Kathleen breathe all relieved, laying back and starting to relax again.

"... _ **oh,**_ uh, that looks nasty." Teddy comments uneasily as he glances over to the big stain his wine has made in the carpet.

"We'll clean it up later." Kathleen waved him off carelessly, reaching to the side and hauling over a bowl of popcorn, "right now we've got a show to watch." she points out.

Meanwhile...

"...so." Annie spoke gloomily as we find her and Jack laying around all miserable, Jack still on the floor and Annie still on the bed like they were previously sitting, both of them had tear-trails all over their faces "what do we do now, Jack? do you wanna just pack everything up and go home?"

"No... not really..." Jack said tiredly as he got up and walked over to his side of the bed and laid down on it's softness instead of the floor, "...I mean, it doesn't sound terrible, but on the other hand, we worked really hard to secure our decent place here, seems like such a waste to just up and leave it like that."

"So what? you wanna stay here?" Annie asked with a small shrug, signaling that she's not opposed to the idea.

"Well, maybe just for tonight..." Jack stated, "I mean like, it wouldn't be very good to go home now because then we'd be dumped in the early morning, and after all the crap we've gone through today I'm feeling pretty tired, we'd either have to sleep in the day or force ourselves to stay up until night if we do go now, but if we just sleep here for tonight and leave in the morning then we'd be on the right track."

"Okay, whatever you want, Jack, I don't care." Annie shrugged "I am feeling pretty tired myself, pretty miserable too, maybe when we wake up I'll feel better."

"Probably..." Jack nodded as he started getting up again, "come on, we'd better pack up most of this stuff now, and hide the evidence."

Jack put the emerald rose and the fucking buttercups in his bag and closed it up tight, while Annie hid the rest of the book of flowers away under the bed, in the darkest most shadowed part of all.

"We can sleep naked if you want to." Annie said as she stood back up and stretched a bit.

"Really?" asked Jack, "or fuck no?"

"Really." Annie nodded, "these stupid monk clothes are pretty thick and bulky anyway, it'll be pretty damn hard to actually get comfortable in them."

"Ah yeah, that's true." Jack nodded, "and then we also get to pollute Laurent's bed with our sweat and skin oils for when he comes back."

"Ha, yeah." Annie laughs and nods all pleased at the thought.

"So, we just turn our backs and don't look at each other then?" Jack asks as he uses his knife to cut the belt of his robe rather than undoing the knot.

"Yeah, that should be fine." Annie agrees, smiling and giggling a bunch as she sees him carelessly toss the now-forever-ruined belt aside, she then eagerly grabs her knife and does the same to her own, "I could also just blow the light out, then we don't have to worry about that, we can both easily get into the bed right fucking beside us without the use of vision so not being able to see doesn't matter at all."

"Okay, we'll do that, sounds a little easier." Jack decides.

Annie nodded as she knelt down beside the bedside-table, opened up the lantern, and blew out the candle.

Immediately the room went dark, Jack couldn't see his hand waving an inch away from his face, but he could hear Annie on the other side of the bed, she was starting to shift off the outer layer of her heavy robes, a few seconds later he heard the quiet thud of her tossing said layer on the floor, he himself quickly shedded off the bulky outer layer of his own robes and tossed them aside, the inner layer, while being noticeably better than the outer layer, was still very thick and uncomfortable, it was at least softer, but he still shrugged his way out of it and tossed the thing even further away then the first layer.

 _Hmm, maybe I shouldn't have done that..._ Jack thinks momentarily, thinking about how now he'll have to run over and retrieve it in the morning, he shrugged it off and got into his side of the bed.

"So..." Annie's voice started as she got in on her side "should we just head home after we wake up tomorrow? or do you want to stay here for breakfast as well?"

"Hmm, I don't know..." Jack thinks about it, "on one hand we could probably use the energy, but on the other hand, well, it might be broth."

Silence.

"...we'll just head home." they agree together, both nodding, not that the other can tell.

" _Ahhhhhwwwwwwwwww...!_ " Annie yawned tiredly, "oh! by the way, how's your poor hand doing?" she asked concerned.

"Oh, it's all better actually." Jack answered "not a single thing wrong with it now, don't ask me how it's like this, my best guess is that it got better as some sort of side-effect from the transforming potion."

"Oh, really!?" Annie reacts "that's great!"

"Yeah, here, you can even feel it yourself if you want." Jack offered, carelessly tearing the bandage off and holding his hand over towards Annie, it took her a few seconds of feeling around to find it.

"Wow!" Annie exclaimed as she ran her hands gently over his "you're right, totally all better."

"Yeah, I know." Jack nodded as he took his hand back, casually tossing the bandage aside.

"Well, that's good..." Annie said reassuredly, laying back and relaxing again, becoming calm and tired, "goodnight then, Jack, hope we both have sweet dreams about being somewhere better than here, or whatever else you want to dream about, dreaming of somewhere other then here might just depress us in the end."

"Yeah, goodnight..." Jack said absent-mindedly, she had gotten him started on an idea "...sweet dreams, Annie."

"Love you..." Annie states as she curls up cozily and shuts her eyes.

"Yeah, you too." Jack nods as he drifts into his thoughts.

Annie fell asleep a few minutes later, Jack finished his thinking a while after that, then he started to doze off himself.

 _Yeah, I think I've got it..._ Jack thought tiredly as he lost consciousness _..._ _ **our**_ _answer._

Hours later, well into the morning, we find Jack and Annie still slumbering peacefully, the room was still dark thanks to the window, so there was no light to help wake them.

Just then, a small knock sounded on the door, it wasn't loud enough to wake them, so the knocker slowly opened it, holding high a lantern to shine light into the room so they could see, the knocker, who is revealed to be Brother Michael, starts to walk in quietly.

"Sir Jack? Miss Annie?" he speaks softly, the lantern he had brought along was small and not very bright, so as to not fill the room with great radiance as the one locked on their bedside-table had, he wanted to open up the window, but he knew it would really piss them off if he did that, so he used his small lantern to light the room best it could.

But then, he felt something laying on the carpet under his foot, he looked down and his eyes widened in surprise as he realized it was the inner layer of a monk's set of robes, he looked and saw that the outer layer lay closer to the bed, it then all clicked into his mind and his breath caught in his throat as he dared to look at Jack and Annie, he saw Jack laying with his bare left arm hanging off the side of the bed and the uppermost part of his chest exposed above the blanket, which was held tightly up against him by his right hand, on the other side of the bed he saw the back of Annie's bare shoulders, she was laying on her side facing away from him and Jack.

Screaming internally, Brother Michael put his hand over his mouth and slowly backed out of the room, closing the door quietly as he left, before his rapid footsteps sounded his hasty retreat.

Soon...

"*huff*! *huff*! *huff*!" Brother Michael breathes as he runs down a hall past Brother Henry.

"Huh!? hey!" Brother Henry called after him "what are you in such a hurry about!?"

Brother Michael ignored him and kept running, he ran down a couple more halls until he went bursting into the hospital wing.

"F-Father Laurent...!" Brother Michael gasped "may I speak with you?"

"Hm? uh, yes, I suppose." Father Laurent agreed, we find him laying in his hospital bed all comically covered in bandaged injuries.

"Thank you...!" Brother Michael breathed as he caught his breath.

"Hey! what's going on?" Brother Henry asked as he ran in and joined them.

"That's what I would like to know." said Father Laurent, "please begin." he instructed to the tired monk.

"I... went to collect what our guests hadn't eaten of the dinner I had given them in the middle of last night... and, to check to see if they had woken up yet..." Brother Michael started, shaking a little with the memories "and, I found... them, together, sleeping, in your bed... th-they were... unclothed."

"Wait, _**what!?**_ " Father Laurent reacts in shock.

"No way!" Brother Henry scoffed "you're kidding, right?"

"No! they were-still are!" Brother Michael corrects himself "both of them, their robes all scattered across the floor in a mess."

"W-what about undergarments?" asked Father Laurent, his mind frantically racing with concern for his bed.

"Not that I saw." Brother Michael shook his head "I can't be sure about Sir Jack as a whole, but his chest is bare for certain, and I sure didn't see any straps on the back of Miss Annie's shoulders, if that's any implication for her."

"P-perhaps you saw wrong, is that a possibility?" asked Father Laurent hopefully.

"I doubt that's the case." Brother Henry cut in "I don't think he would have seen any, if he is even right about this, their robes didn't come with them and the ones they were wearing are in with the rest of their laundry."

"How do you know that?" Brother Michael asks in surprise.

"Because I went through their laundry for them just a short while ago, duh." explained Brother Henry.

"Why were you going through their laundry!?" demanded Father Laurent.

"To make sure there wasn't anything in their pockets that would get ruined in the wash, so they wouldn't become angered with you guys again." answered Brother Henry.

"Oh! really? whew! good call." Father Laurent relaxed.

"Uh, can we please return to the matter at hand?" asked Brother Michael.

"Oh yes, of course..." Father Laurent nods, "so, they are unclothed then, at least as far as it would seem?"

"Yes, Father Laurent." Brother Michael nodded "tell us, what does it _mean?_ why would they be unclothed?"

"I am not sure..." Father Laurent said thoughtfully, "there are two main reasons why I think they might, first off, perhaps they just always sleep like that, as people elsewhere in the world have been known to do, the other reason, well, that would be devil's work if it's the one, if they had gotten unclothed so they could do... things, together, horrible, forbidden things, which would taint my bed even worse than they already are."

"Wait, what!? you're not _seriously thinking_ that they...?" Brother Henry trailed off in shock.

"F-Father Laurent...!" Brother Michael started, his eyes wide with horror "that reminds me of one of the most confusing parts of it."

"And what is that?" asked Father Laurent.

"Th-they weren't unclothed last night...!" said Brother Michael "both times when I went to check on them then, they were fully clothed, it is only tonight that they are not."

"R-really?" asked Father Laurent.

Brother Michael nodded.

"I, I see..." Father Laurent said as he accepted the news "so, they do not sleep like this every night then, I... guess that leaves only the other option."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on a sec!" Brother Henry cut in "who says it has to be that? other than you of course, maybe there's some other, possibly-logical-possibly-not-to-us reason why they're unclothed tonight, maybe they just couldn't get properly comfortable in the robes we gave them, maybe they have a rule in their religion that says they must only sleep in their own clothes if any, we should just wait until they wake up and ask them, I'm sure it'll all make sense then."

"No, they will most likely lie if we do that, to hide their sin." said Father Laurent.

"What sin!?" demanded Brother Henry "we don't know anything about it! they are the only ones who actually know what's going on in there, which again is probably nothing, all we have to go off of is Brother Michael's account that they're nothing more or less than unclothed, which I still actually doubt even that."

"Go see for yourself then...!" Brother Michael encouraged "see it with your own eyes, at your own risk, then you'll know I'm right."

"Fine! I'll go check them myself...!" Brother Henry groaned, he turned and left the room swiftly.

After around twelve or so minutes, he suddenly came charging back in just as Brother Michael had done before, stopping out of breath.

"Ah! you're back, what did you find?" asked Father Laurent.

"I was right, wasn't I?" asked Brother Michael confidently.

" _Yes yes they're sleeping in the nude who gives a_ _ **fuck!?**_ " Brother Henry responded, his hurriedness preventing him from watching his language "we now have much more confusing matters to turn our attention to!"

"We do!?" exclaimed Brother Michael "what are those!?"

"Well, did you notice how Sir Jack's right arm was exposed above the blankets?" asked Brother Henry.

"Yes." nodded Brother Michael.

"Okay, well then did you notice how his injured hand is unbandaged and _**completely healed?**_ " demanded Brother Henry.

"WHAT!?" Brother Michael's shocked.

"Go see for yourself if you don't believe me! I know I certainly wouldn't believe you if this was the other way around." said Brother Henry.

"Ohhhhhh! not again-!" groaned Father Laurent.

After Brother Michael went and checked...

"I don't believe it! he's _right!_ " announced Brother Michael as he ran in.

"Ah, finally you're back...!" Father Laurent reacts.

"Oh Father Laurent, whatever does THIS mean...!" asked Brother Michael "how is it that Sir Jack's hand, which was quite grievously injured, is now perfectly fine!?"

"We treated his hand ourselves earlier, we know how bad it was, it should've taken it _weeks_ to fully recover." said Brother Henry.

"O-oh my...!" Father Laurent starts uneasily "y-you're right, this is something to be very concerned about, how _could_ it be better already? the only answer is 'it can't', it doesn't make any sense, something like that is impossible, hmm, there's something very weird going on."

"Now that you mention it, just about _everything_ those two have said or done is weird." observed Brother Michael "they just show up out of nowhere, looking for flowers of all things, and then they start treating us all like no one else ever has before, specifically with little to no respect and an almost murderous flair in the case of Sir Jack, and then the one dog just randomly hates them, but then they take the dog out on a trip when we're all away, and when they come back the dog suddenly _doesn't_ hate them, and during the time they were away on the trip, they also rescue the _**one**_ missing soldier, getting them special thanks from Bonaparte that _**none**_ of us received for our services, and they do so in the _**extremely**_ lethal cold, which we know thanks to when we all got back that they were almost definitely out in it for long enough to normally kill someone even equipped with our thick robes, which they were not, they were dressed in their much thinner clothes, which had soaked through, accelerating the freezing process, _how did they survive?_ "

"Yes, that's all correct, Brother Michael, but there's even _**more**_..." Father Laurent said thoughtfully "go back to the dog: so first the dog hates them, then the dog _doesn't_ hate them, then the dog _hates me_ , and gets me put in here for the week, allowing the two of them to usurp my room from me, the very same room they had earlier said to me that they wanted for themselves, but I said to them 'no, it's mine', and you know how they responded? by asking me to go see the dog, which I did, which got me in here, which allowed them to get what they wanted: my room."

"Holy shit you guys are blowing my mind!" Brother Henry exclaimed in shock.

"Mine too!" nodded Brother Michael "it's all just so- _ **heeeeeeeeey,**_ wait a second, what was that about you not letting them have the room? as in, the one they _needed_ so they could recover faster, so me and him wouldn't have to _carry them around on our backs_ , and let them _sit on us on the chairs_ , to _**cushion their asses**_ , anymore...!?"

Brother Michael immediately lost all respect for Father Laurent.

"It seems to me like our dear guests are experts at accomplishing the impossible..." Father Laurent started, a cold look setting in his eyes "and, I'm afraid there can only be one explanation, one single possible answer, for that."

"What's that, Sir?" asked Brother Henry "what's the answer?"

"Our esteemed visitors can only be none other than..."

He paused.

"...witches."

"*GASP*!" Brother Henry is shocked, Brother Michael doesn't react, he just slowly begins seething furiously, harder and harder, his hands clawing the air in frustration.

"Don't you see?" growled Father Laurent "they survived the cold and healed his hand by using magic, they search for flowers as ingredients for their potions and spells, they treat people with such disrespect because they believe themselves untouchable to the ordinary man, the dog must have sensed the evil in them and tried to stop it, so they took it away to the devil and had it's heart blackened with his influence so that it would instead serve them, which it has eagerly done by attacking me, the most righteous of us all, so that they may take my room, whether the sins they then committed upon each other inside my bed were in sick celebration of their victory or an attempt to infect me with their evil next time I slept in it remains to be seen, but it is clearly one or the other, however that is not important right now, what is important is stopping them before they can do any more harm to the world, gather the other monks! prepare the stakes to be burned!"

" _ **What!?**_ " Brother Henry reacts "b-but that's ridiculous! why would they have saved the lost soldier if what you assume is correct!?"

"It was a good deed with evil intentions, most likely to encourage the Consul to protect them or do their bidding if they decide they need it!" Father Laurent waves him off "or perhaps the lost man was in league with the devil himself, as a matter of fact, he likely never went missing! it was all a ruse to gain our trust! but _**I**_ saw through it, and so now the two witches will pay."

"I... I see..." Brother Henry nodded submissively "we shall do as you wish, Father, I will go begin to wake the other monks."

"Good." nodded Father Laurent "when you have the witches in custody, make sure at least four men are watching them at all times, I refuse to allow them any chance of escape from justice."

"As you wish." Brother Henry bowed as he left the room, Brother Michael followed him, leaving Father Laurent alone on his hospital bed.

"Soon, you will pay for what you've done, Jack and Annie...!" Father Laurent growled to himself as he looked at his torn body "it all makes sense now: only the most evil of the devil's horde would nearly be destroyed by drinking my precious, holy soup."


	11. Chapter 10: Escape

**Chapter 10: Escape.**

"Jack! Annie! wake up!" Brother Henry called urgently as he dashed into their room carrying a big bundle of stuff, Brother Michael was trailing behind confused.

"Huh...!?" Jack and Annie both woke up super-drowsily, both perking up a little bit in response.

" _Here get your clothes on we gotta_ _ **move, move, move!**_ " Brother Henry announced as he dumped the bundle of stuff on the floor in front of the bed.

"Huh...?/Wha...?" Jack/Annie react tiredly, both sitting up to look at him all confused, in the process letting the blanket drop down on itself to expose their bare chests in the dim lantern light, "AHH!/EEE!" they both immediately react, grabbing the blanket back up and tightly holding it over themselves embarrassedly.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT!?" they both demand, fully awake and furious now.

"That's what I want to know!" added Brother Michael, rounding on Brother Henry "what do you think you're doing!?"

"Helping our friends, that's what." Brother Henry answered stubbornly.

"What's going on!?" Annie demanded.

"Explain yourselves!" Jack ordered.

"Father Laurent has gotten it into his head that you two are witches, or, magic-users or however you want to put it." Brother Henry started hurriedly.

" _ **What!?**_ " Jack and Annie react in shock.

"How did he kn-!?" Jack started, only for Annie to slap her hand over his mouth.

"H-heh, wha-what Jack m-means to say is... h-however did he get that crazy idea...?" Annie asked with a terribly forced smile, nervously breaking down a bit as she tries desperately to hide the truth, which is that they of course actually are, just not in the sense that Father Laurent thinks, not that they know that.

"It is a long story, and we don't have much time." Brother Henry continued "Laurent is planning to have you burnt at the stake, you must leave immediately! get your clothes on and throw the monk robes I gave you over them, you'll need all the heat you can get, once you're dressed up then head out the front gate, turn left, and run for the pass down into the valley, you'll come across a village before long, ignore it or stay briefly depending on how well you're doing, no matter what just make sure you get far away from here safely, I'll try to keep everyone else busy here for as long as I can, I'll make it seem like you're probably just wandering around the monastery somewhere, that'll get them busy searching the whole thing through, once they're done that though it'll be clear that you've left, and then they'll start sending out search parties to all the nearby villages and stuff, hopefully you'll have enough of a head start to make it out alright."

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, back up, you mean he's going to _**kill us!?**_ " Annie demanded.

Brother Henry nodded.

" _What!?_ after all we've done for him!?" Annie's pissed "I can't believe the nerve of that son of a bitch, why I ought to-!"

"Hey! hold on...!" Jack speaks up curiously, "can I ask something?" he requests.

"Go ahead, but make it quick." Brother Henry agrees.

"Is this all just about the _**broth?**_ " Jack asks, super-unimpressed, "is _that_ why he wants to kill us? because I didn't like his stupid precious bowls of crap of all things? is that it? what, does it also include when I used it as an excuse to cheat him out of his dinner with Napoleon? or has he been getting at this since I first complained about it like two whole days ago?"

"I don't really think the soup has much to do with it." Brother Michael answered.

" _Broth._ " Jack, Annie, and Brother Henry all corrected him.

"Now there really isn't much time." Brother Henry stresses as he turns back to the two siblings "right now me and Brother Michael are supposed to be gathering up a team of monks to hold you prisoner until the rest of us have the stakes set up to burn you on, I can only take so long on that job without appearing suspicious, but I'll drag it out best I can for you."

"What about Paste?" Jack asks, glancing to Brother Michael "he hasn't consented to any of this, who's to say he won't bust you for it? get you killed along with the two of us?"

"I would never do that!" Brother Michael protested "if it was just you two, then _maybe_ , since I'd just be following Father Laurent's orders, which as it just so happens I now actually feel no obligation to do whatsoever, so you'd probably be good either way, but Brother Henry here has been my friend for years now, so, even though I may not _fully_ approve of this, I'll _**definitely**_ help."

"Tsk, what the hell, 'Michael'? I thought we were pals." Jack scoffed, holding out on calling him Paste to punish him.

"Th-thank you both for helping us." Annie nodded respectfully, she was still taking time to fully accept what was happening "we owe you our lives, probably."

"I don't owe nobody _**shit.**_ " Jack snarks, "we didn't _ask_ for their help, they just randomly gave it to us."

Silence.

"...but thanks." he nods to Brother Henry.

"You are both very welcome, my friends." Brother Henry nodded "now quickly, put on your clothes and robes, we must go begin our jobs gathering the others, but we will do so in a manner that with luck will keep the halls clear and buy plenty of time for you, I hope you make it out alright, good luck." he turned away for the door.

"Thank you again, goodbye!" Annie waves.

"Wait, but don't they need a lantern to find their way?" asked Brother Michael.

"Oh, yes! that's right!" Brother Henry turns back "you do, don't you? here, one of us'll just run your lantern to the lighting room as fast as possible, it's a shame to waste time but it needs to be done."

"No, no! don't worry about it, we'll be fine." Annie assures them.

"Yeah, we'll just use our 'magic' to find the way." Jack laughed bitterly.

"Are you sure? it will be very difficult to leave without a lantern." Brother Henry warned.

"No, really, it'll be fine, where we come from people are often forced to see in the dark, we're used to it." Annie lies.

"Where _**do**_ you come from anyway?" Brother Michael asked.

"Um, _**excuse me,**_ but I believe there is no _time_ for that." Jack responds "I don't really think you _understand_ how dire the situation is, you see, we kinda need to _go_ , like, right now, and, you're kinda stopping that, so, like, shut up and get going, K?"

"Italy." Annie answered flatly.

" _*Gasp*!_ " Brother Michael reacts.

"What, you got a problem with that?" Annie asked, raising one eyebrow unimpressed.

"N-no." Brother Michael shook his head.

"Good." Annie nodded contently "now, I answered your question, so please leave us to get dressed and get out of here."

"Th-thank you for your time, I hope you get to where you're going safely, goodbye." Brother Michael said with a respectful bow as he left the room.

"Goodbye, Paste." Jack states emotionlessly.

"Farewell, my friends...!" Brother Henry waved as he left after Brother Michael.

"Goodbye." Jack and Annie both waved to him as he quietly shut the door.

Jack then heard Annie roll off of the bed and onto her feet on top of her robes on the floor, leaning towards the bedside table.

"Okay!" Annie announced as she flicked on their lighter, Jack immediately turned his gaze away before he saw anything, the dancing lights told him Annie was lighting the lantern on the bedside-table "so it sounds like we've got to move fast, so here, that's good what you're doing now, just keep looking away, I'll toss you all your clothes and throw on my own."

"Okay." Jack nodded curtly, he heard Annie stand up and walk around to the pile of clothes the monks had brought and start shifting through them, a couple seconds later his pants and undies came flying at his head.

"Ow." he expressed, even though they both missed him.

"Sorry." he heard Annie apologize briskly as she worked.

Jack started getting dressed under the blanket, it wasn't long before the rest of his clothes came tumbling over, all farther away then the first two pieces had, he took the time to straighten them out a little more.

"Okay, you can look at me now." Annie announced just as Jack had finished buckling his belt and was starting to pull on his socks.

"Same here." he immediately sat up and tossed the blanket aside so he could work faster, he glanced over and saw Annie slipping into her jacket, he got the socks on good and dove into his T-shirt, he smoothed it a bit and reached for his jacket, he glanced at Annie again as she suddenly sat down on her side of the bed, she was pulling on her own socks, they both finished and got up together, they stepped into their boots, tucked their knives into their belts, and put on the two heavy layers of monk robes, they had to grudgingly tie the cut part of the robe belts back together.

"You got the bag?" Annie asked just as Jack scooped up the bag.

"Yep, the flowers and emerald are both right here in it." Jack nodded.

" _ **Good,**_ after all the trouble we went through for those things, they'd better be." Annie nods firmly, "do you want me to carry it?" she added softer, still concerned about Jack.

"Yeah, sure." Jack nodded.

"Are you feeling alright?" Annie asked as she walked over and he offered her the bag.

"I'd feel better if I had the lighter." Jack answers as she takes the bag.

"What!?" Annie reacts surprised as she slings the bag over her shoulder.

"Can I have the lighter? please?" Jack requests.

"I... guess." Annie nodded unsurely, she fumbled around inside her robes and pulled the lighter out of her pants' pocket.

"You're not going to do anything stupid with it, are you?" Annie asked as Jack eagerly took it.

"Nothing is too stupid when it comes to REVENGE." Jack cheers.

Before long...

"Jack! we're wasting time...!" Annie stressed to him as they quickly jogged down the wrong halls, she was carrying the bag _and_ the lantern, as well as the book of flowers.

"Well, I know it's not really the most efficient use of the time the monks are buying us." Jack admits "but remember! we don't actually have to run for town, we just need to get back to the treehouse, so we have plenty of time to spare! besides, this might cause a good distraction, buying us even more."

"I... guess that's true," Annie concurs uneasily "but I'm still nervous about it, and I do question how 'necessary' it is."

"Don't worry about it it'll be great." Jack waves her off.

Soon...

 _ **BAM!**_ Jack kicks open the door into the hospital wing.

"Huh!?" Father Laurent reacts "YOU-!"

"-MMPH!" the head monk is silenced as Jack dashes right up to him and throws his hand-bandage over the man's mouth.

" _Hello there,_ _ **Laurent**_ _...!_ " Jack greets him mockingly "just thought maybe we'd 'poof in' for a 'spell' before we 'fly off' like we had 'the devil behind us'."

" **Mmmmmmm!** " Father Laurent growled.

"Ah yes, we know all about your little scheme to make 'barbequed-Jack-and-Annie-on-a-stick'." Jack informs him "unfortunately for you, that won't be happening, our crystal ball alerted us to your plan and now it's not going to follow through."

"...to us." he adds darkly, raising the lighter and activating it, it's little flame dancing.

"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!" Father Laurent started freaking the fuck out.

"Hm? oh no, no, no, not to you either." Jack shook his head and stepped back a pace "it would be far too merciful to simply end your life, what with everything you've gone and accomplished, what we're going to do is erase your greatest achievement from existence, before anybody even gets to enjoy it."

Annie placed the book of flowers on a table in full view of Father Laurent.

The head monk went into shock, he was completely silent, his eyes glued horrifically to his book.

"This is our revenge, Laurent, you wanted to burn us, well now we burn what matters most to you." Jack said coldly, walking over to the book with the lighter aflame.

 _W-who are these children from hell!?_ Laurent thought, in this moment he reflected back on everything, for years upon years he had lived happily in these mountains, but then, suddenly, that all changed when these two children, the weirdest experience of his life, showed up less than two days ago, and now here he was, in the middle of a situation he'd never, ever, until now had expected he might ever find himself in.

Jack lit the book.

Cue Father Laurent's internal screams.

Jack and Annie however, didn't hear anything out of him, they just stood back and watched the tiny flame grow.

"...you're right, Jack." Annie nodded "this was so worth it."

The two of them bursted into smug laughter and ran off.

Short While Later...

"Okay...! we're almost there...!" Annie cheered tiredly as she and Jack trekked up the side of the snowy mountain, the treehouse was dark in the shadows above them, but they could still just barely make it out, "keep up, Jack!" she called back encouragingly.

Jack meanwhile, had started to trail behind, fourteen feet now separated them, and it was around three times that distance from Annie to the treehouse.

"Don't worry...!" Jack called back as he slowly trudged his cold legs through the heavy snow "I'll get there...! it might take me a couple minutes more than you, but it shouldn't matter, what's the rush, right?"

"Yeah, I guess..." Annie nodded, turning her attention back to the steep climb, "I sure hope the treehouse isn't all full of snow or anything...!" she calls resentfully.

"Hell yeah! that would ruin all the books! possibly including the Pennsylvania one, then how would we get home!?" Jack growls in response.

"It'll probably be just fine though, magic protection and all that!" Annie reasons bitterly.

"Screw logic!" Jack agrees.

"Maybe it'll even be warm...!" Annie calls, a small unimpressed smile crossing her face as she thinks about it "that would be pretty ni-!"

Just then, Annie was interrupted as a loud, booming bark shattered the air, Jack and Annie flinched in surprised fear and immediately whipped their gazes around, they saw down the mountainside, right in front of the monastery gate, was Barry, blood soaked and dripping all over his jaws and chest, the monastery door busted open behind him, his jaw restraint broken and hanging uselessly from his collar, he had his crazed eyes set directly on Jack, wild and vicious, his teeth were bared and his legs were prepared to run.

" _ **OH HOLY FUCK!**_ " Jack immediately freaked, snapping back to Annie, " _ **RUN!**_ __ _ **for the treehouse!**_ "

Annie nodded vigorously, "yes!" she turned and ran.

Jack started running too, but his legs were freezing and tired, the gap between him and Annie widened as they both dashed for the safety of the secret TARDIS, Jack risked a look over his shoulder and saw that the killer dog had given chase, sprinting after them at a pace much, much faster than Annie's, let alone Jack's.

"Wh-when you obviously leap into the treehouse first...!" Jack yelled after Annie as he struggled "find the Frog Creek book, or ANY BOOK, and get ready...!" he paused for breath.

"To activate it the very second you climb in!?" Annie guessed back at him over her shoulder, "that's what I was gonna do!"

"GOOD!" Jack gasped finishingly, taking deep breathes as he trudged along.

" _Ugh!_ " Annie grunted as she threw herself into the treehouse through the window, crashing down hard on the inside of it, she ignored the pain and started scrambling for the books.

"H-h-hey...!" Jack called over his shoulder at the pursuing canine "what's the deal, Barry!? you promised you wouldn't do this anymore, remember!?"

Barry just barked again in response, and started running faster, his eyes now a little less crazed but a whole lot more furious than they were.

"Oh _come, on...!_ " Jack groaned "is this about how attacking Father Laurent didn't work out for you? 'cause listen man, that wasn't my fault, that was _your fault_ , the instructions I gave you should've worked fine, therefore, _you_ _must've messed it up_ , somehow."

"Jack! I got the book!" Annie cried, waving the Frog Creek book in the air behind the window, "HURRY!"

Now Jack was almost there, twelve feet, eleven feet, ten, nine, he looked back, Barry was getting tired, his pace starting to falter, seven, six, five, he was going to make it!

Then his stupid damaged monk belt came apart and as a result his loosened monk robe got caught under his foot.

" _Uh! oof!_ " Jack breathes as he trips and falls down face first in the snow, his head a mere foot away from the treehouse.

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...!" Jack heard the subtle growling as the tired Barry slowly walked up behind him, he flipped onto his back, hand reaching for his knife, but Barry growled louder and stamped his front paw down in the center of Jack's stomach, immediately Jack flinched and gasped under the pain, losing grip on his knife and struggling to breathe, Barry's claws, blunt as they were, stabbed through the patch of T-shirt and pinched into his flesh, breaking the skin, though barely, and making him start to bleed lightly, Jack slowly opened his eyes to see Barry glaring hatefully down at him, the dog had intent to kill, but not yet, not right away.

"B-Barry...!" Jack gasped pleadingly, it seemed as if he was about to apologize, Barry thought he'd let him, if it was a really good apology he might even take it easy a bit.

" _...have you_ _ **forgotten**_ _that_ _ **I**_ _am your_ _ **superior!?**_ " Jack demanded sternly.

In response to this, Barry lifted up one of his back legs, and swiftly stomped it right on Jack's balls.

"GAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Jack yelled, equally in pain and surprise.

Barry snorted smugly.

"I...! I'm warning you, Barry...!" Jack growled, relentlessly holding up his stern, superior attitude, "I have power beyond anything you can imagine...! remember? we were dogs too, we can be dogs again, and that's just the surface, w-why, I'd bet you _anything you want_ , that if you were to let me stand up right now, and join Annie in that random little shack that just so happens to have all our spellbooks in it, I could blow the monastery apart from here."

Barry snarled refusingly.

"No! it's true!" Annie backed him up, she had been watching the two of them carefully, panicking like crazy on the inside but keeping herself cool and calm on the out, knife hidden away in hand, waiting for a decent chance to strike, Barry turned to look at her as she spoke, "we can, Barry! we have the capability to create all sorts of destruction, so listen to us and get the hell off of Jack so we can show you, because if you _don't_ let us give you a demonstration that can change your mind about this, then we'll just have to jump straight to killing you directly!"

"For fuck's sake, Barry! what do you expect us to do!? try to run!? oh boy, that's sure to work out just great!" Jack snarks at him, he was also a chaotic mess internally, but knew they had to seem genuinely confident if they were gonna pull this off, letting his body convert his trauma into snarkiness was helping with that.

Also, he of course no longer noticed any of the freezing cold, just thought we should mention that.

"You know he's right, Barry, there is literally _no downside_ to getting off him for a few seconds, if he tries to run then you'll just catch him again no problem!" Annie points out "just let us show you what we're talking about! we're doing it for YOU, your sake, you know!"

Barry considered it carefully for a moment, then he grumbily stepped off of Jack, who started gasping for air immediately, Barry growled a low rumble at him, signaling his impatience.

"Alright, alright, I'm going...!" Jack forced himself to respond, weakly lifting himself to his feet and slowly stepping towards the treehouse, leaving his knife behind, Barry did take note of that as a good sign.

Barry rumbled impatiently again.

"Hey! I'm only taking it so slow so that I don't startle you with any sudden movements you'd mistake for me trying to get away...!" Jack snapped as he rested against the frame of the window, Annie started to reach over to help him through but Jack raised his hand to tell her to stand clear, obviously so Barry doesn't get suspicious due to not being able to clearly see what they're doing, Jack then lifted his leg into the window and bowed his head to fit as he stepped through onto the inside, once both feet were on the wooden floor he turned back to Annie.

"Okay, now let's read the spell incantation." he said with a nod and a careful glance to Barry.

"With pleasure." Annie nodded back, holding out the open book with both hands, one clamped over each side of it, the one facing Barry was bare, while the other, hidden from the dog's view by the book, gripped her knife, Jack saw it as he gently laid his hands on his side of the book, holding it up so that Annie's knife hand became free, they both looked each other dead in the eyes, trying to certify exactly what the hell their 'plan' was, Annie pushed gently on her side and budged Jack's hand with the book, implying that she wanted him to take it and cast the wish, she also swung her hand to indicate herself throwing the knife, Jack understood.

"Okay, so the spell starts like this...!" Jack announced to Barry, who was starting to eye them suspiciously, "...I wish-!" he raised his voice dramatically.

Immediately Annie let go of her side of the book and dropped to a crouch, Barry was instantly up on his feet, ready to leap at them with jaws gaping, just as she threw the knife spinning towards him.

"-we could go there!" Jack finishes, throwing himself back against the treehouse wall, his finger pointing to the book's picture of Frog Creek.

Annie hit the dirt too, they both heard the sound of knife cutting flesh and fur, followed closely by Barry's gasping yelp of agony, neither of them dared to look out the window at him as the wind started to blow.

They lost their _chance_ to look at him as the treehouse started to spin.

Jack lost his balance and dropped on the floor beside Annie as the treehouse spun faster and faster.

Then everything was still.

Absolutely still.

They had finally escaped.


	12. Ending: the Adventures Continue

**Ending: the Adventures Continue.**

The darkness of the last stretch of night hung over the sky, filling the outside world with darkness, Annie still had the lantern, though it was knocked out during the wind and spinning, so inside of the treehouse was all dark too, it was still light enough from the few stars that peeked out from the heavy clouds for Jack to make out the shapes of all the book towers around them, but it was the sounds of frogs croaking and the quiet hum of distant cars that told him for sure that they were back in Frog Creek, he breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed across his spot on the floor.

Meanwhile...

"Well, guess the show's just about over..." Teddy groaned happily as he lifted himself into sitting up straight, Kathleen nodded contently as she dozed off and on beside him.

"We should probably go get some shut eye, we can pick up the treehouse sometime tomorrow." he said as he picked up the MagicVision remote and turned off the MV, it went black and Jack and Annie were lost from view.

Back in the treehouse...

Jack and Annie just continued to lay on the floor, soaking in the sounds of home and feeling the stress start to slip away, a few moments later Annie broke the silence.

"Hey Jack?" she asked.

"Yes, Annie?" he responded.

"You know how we usually go and do research on the people we encountered on our adventures after we get home from them?"

"Yeah?"

"Let's not do that this time."

"Agreed."

They chuckled a bit as they both slowly sat up, stretching comfortably.

"Do you still have the lighter?" Annie asked.

"Yeah." Jack nodded.

"Well then give it back so I can light this thing so we can see again." Annie instructed as she swung the unlit lantern.

Jack felt around his pocket until he found the lighter, he took it out and slid it over in Annie's general direction, she felt around for it herself, found it, picked it up, and lit it, the light flooded the treehouse brightly, since their eyes had adjusted to the darkness, and Annie easily opened up the lantern, she then lit it's candle and blew out the lighter, which she tucked away again, now that they had the lantern going they could see just about everything in the treehouse almost as if it were day and their eyes weren't set to darkness-mode, they were quiet again for a couple minutes.

"So... I guess that's that then..." Annie eventually said sadly as she picked up Jack's bag, "that was our adventure..." she sighs as she opens it, taking out the emerald rose and buttercups, "at least we got the things for Penny."

"Yeah..." Jack nodded "we sure had to suffer for 'em, but we did it."

"Mm-hm..." Annie nodded glumly, "I suppose we'd better leave these here this time and get going back home..." she said as she gently set the rose and buttercups down on the treehouse floor, near the 'M'.

"Yeah..." Jack nodded again.

"... _ **or,**_ " he suddenly changed his tune "we could just, _not._ "

"Huh?" Annie looked at him curiously, "what are you talking about?"

"Well, I was thinking about this last night..." Jack started thoughtfully, "remember back when we first found the treehouse? all those years ago?"

"Yeah..." Annie thought back to those ancient times, "so?"

"We were never told where we could go and what we could do, we always just picked for ourselves, it was great, we could go anywhere at any time, the only problem was that we were a couple of kids, and as such we couldn't really do a whole lot to defend ourselves against trouble..." Jack reminded her "we don't have that problem now, now we're adults, albeit young ones, but still, and now here we are, in the same treehouse with the same abilities to travel, and no one to stop us."

"Jack, you're not suggesting that we _steal the treehouse_ are-" Annie started warningly.

"Yes! yes Annie that's _exactly_ what I'm suggesting!" Jack continued excitedly "we can go have a great adventure _right now_ , this is a golden opportunity that people would _**kill**_ for, we can't just pass it up!"

"No, Jack! we'll get in trouble, at the very least we wouldn't be allowed to use this thing anymore, period, and at the worst..." she trailed off.

"No! we _won't_ get it trouble, think about it..." Jack insists "what are Teddy and Kathleen gonna do? they _**need**_ us to save Penny, and they can't tell Morgan and Merlin 'cause then we'd just tell on them about what they did to Penny, so Morgan and Merlin never find out, and Teddy and Kathleen have to keep quiet."

"...oh," Annie's interested "well, yeah, that's true."

"And the sweetest part, this will be _our_ revenge, or at least our compensation..." Jack starts "they gave us a horrible, worthless experience and they know it, that was their answer to us owning the last mission, so this can be our answer to their pettiness, it'll hopefully discourage them from ever trying to screw us like this again, and even if for some reason it doesn't, well, then at least we get to have a great time while they get their smug looks wiped off their little bitch faces."

 _Boom.-_ "Done!" Annie immediately agrees, slamming her hand down against the wood finalizingly.

"Great!" Jack cheers, "so now all that's left to do is decide where we want to treat ourselves into going."

 _ **Boom.**_ _-_ "I want to go back here!" Annie announced as she immediately grabbed the book on 2008 China and slammed it down on the treehouse floor in front of Jack, "and get that genuine Chinese dinner of mine!"

"...oh, uhhhhh." Jack drones nervously as he quickly glances to a dark little book in the corner titled ' _Chicks by the Beach_ ', "sure, we _could_ , but we don't have any money for it or anything, so unless you have a plan to get some I don't really see that happening, maybe we should pick something el-"

"We'll go right to the Panda Center, just before the past us head off to leave..." Annie declares as she finds a picture of the Panda Center, "then, after they go we'll jump in and demand our money back from that woman you gave it to, I can't remember what she's called, if we need to we can just make up some sad story about why we need it to convince her or we can steal it back, but if we're lucky she'll be reasonable and just fork it over right when we first ask, then we'll have our cash and can run back here to the treehouse, then we can go back in time a week or maybe into the future a year or so later, basically just whenever the city isn't in ruins, and then it'll be a happy, happy day for you and me, Jack-!"

"*Gasp*! _**wait!**_ " Jack stops her "b-but then the money wouldn't go to Bing-Bing!"

"It _**shouldn't**_ be going to Bing-Bing in the first place!" Annie argued "seriously! even if we weren't already planning on spending it on ourselves, there are like a million better places for it to go other than _Bing-Bing_."

"B-b-b-b-b-but B-B-B-B-Bing-Bing...!" Jack stuttered beggingly.

"ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRM, _**fine,**_ we can leave around _half_ the money for Bing-Bing, does that sound fair!?" Annie suggests.

"I... guess." Jack nods uncertainly.

Annie muttered grumbily to herself as she pointed to the picture of the Panda Center, "I wish we could go there at the exact time Jack is foolishly giving away all my money to Bing-Bing." she activated it.

Once again the wind started to blow, Annie started to cheer up as her excitement over their rogueness returned.

The treehouse started to spin, she and Jack smiled at each other smugly.

It spun faster and faster, blowing out the lantern.

And then everything was still.

Absolutely still.

As they started their next adventure.

...

It took Teddy and Kathleen three days to finally catch up to them, three days that Jack and Annie spent going around on a massive world-wide feast, they ran out of cash like immediately, but always managed to legitimately earn, semi-earn, pretend to earn, or sometimes outright steal their way through the rest, so it's cool, they of course went to China, and then India, and then France, and then Italy, continuing to Mexico, Belgium, Chile, South Africa, and Hawaii, where they were finally caught due to them just laying around on lawn chairs at the beach, letting their stomachs rest for a while after the big old luau they'd managed to crash, Teddy and Kathleen fucking handcuffed them and dragged their asses back to the treehouse, where they did agree to let it slide this time since they so desperately need Jack and Annie's help and all that, so then they kicked the brother-sister team off at the Frog Creek woods and left them there to wait for their next mission.

The End.

\- this story was originally written entirely in February 2016, by Brandon and Pand of Greene Earth Productions, we hope you loved reading it as much as we loved writing, thank you for your support.


	13. Credits & Alternate Scenes

**Alternate Scenes:**

1\. the Soft Version of when Barry bites Jack's hand during breakfast.

"Ah!" Jack gasps in surprise, throwing himself back against the table, surprising Annie and the two monks, meanwhile, Barry's eyes lock onto the bit of bread in Jack's hand, and with an excited yelp leaps up on his back paws and thrusts forward, his huge, slavering jaws clamming shut around Jack's hand.

" _ **AHHHHHHHHHHH!**_ " Jack screamed a mixture of surprise, terror, and pain.

"No! Barry! down, boy!" commanded Brother Michael, but Barry didn't listen.

Jack grabs around desperately, his hand curling around his barely-touched bowl of porridge, he throws the thing right into Barry's face, making the dog release him and go stumbling away, Jack looked at his freed hand, it was bleeding heavily due to large teethmarks made by Barry.

"What the hell!?" Jack yelled in shock, fury overcoming him.

2\. the Soft Version of the Monks' punishment for Jack and Annie being witches.

"You're leaving, today, right now." Brother Michael said as he and Brother Henry dumped their clothes at their feet in front of them.

"Ugh, fine, so much for the hospitality..." Jack rolled his eyes "all well, bend over so I can get on."

"You will be carrying yourself today." Brother Michael said stubbornly.

"Uh, no I'm sorry but I don't think you _understand_ how this works..." Jack started.

3\. the Soft Version of when Barry confronts them on their way to the treehouse.

"Grrrrrrrrrrr...!" a soft growling suddenly sounds behind Jack and Annie.

"Huh!?" they both turn, shocked to see Barry, the mouth restraint hanging broken from his collar, come trudging up the hill after them, anger burning in his eyes.

"Oh! uh, Barry, what a surprise, we didn't expect to see you here, how's it going?" Jack responds nervously, while Annie quietly laid her hand around her knife's handle.

" _Grrrrrrrrrrr...!_ " Barry growled again, louder, harsher, he looked mad enough to attack, regardless of their apparent power.

"Hm? **oh,** _right,_ I heard that your fight with Father Laurent didn't go too well...!" Jack nodded uneasily, "well don't you worry about it, Buddy! I'm going to help you figure out exactly where it is you went wrong...!"

Barry squinted his eyes distrustfully, he also wasn't terribly pleased at Jack's implying that what happened to him was somehow his own fault.

"No, no, seriously, let's figure this out...!" Jack insists "did you, like, make sure to first rapidly bark at him six times before moving in on the attack?"

Barry froze for a moment, his mind thinking back to it, he then slowly shook his head.

" _No!?_ " Jack snaps in disbelief "well then there's your problem right there, stupid! you need to do that in order to make it clear to everyone that you're announcing the duel! otherwise it just comes across as a random attack! for god's sake, all this was just over nothing! now go back and do it right this time."

"You can do it, Barry! we believe in you!" Annie cheers encouragingly, taking her hand off her knife to wave him away.

Barry still looked uncertain for a moment, but then he just shook his fur out and panted happily, he turned away and ran off for the monastery, tail wagging behind him, Jack and Annie watched silently as he shrunk into the distance.

"...sucker." they both snark.

" _Pah-ha-ha-ha!_ " they laughed gleefully as they whipped around and ran the rest of the way to the treehouse.

 **Credits.**

...

Directed by:

Brandon Bullock.

Pand.

...

Produced by:

Greene Earth Productions.

...

Written by:

Brandon Bullock.

Pand.

...

Spellcheck Editor:

Pand.

Brandon Bullock.

...

Character Designs:

Pand.

Mary Pope.

...

Original Story Inspiration:

The book sucked, we wanted better, we fixed it.

...

Disclaimers:

The Magic Treehouse book series belongs to Mary Pope and Scholastic.

This is a parody, nuff said.

...

Special Thanks:

Mary Pope's insatiable thirst for moneys by recycling preused plots from the book coming immediately before it.

Napoleon Bonaparte, the sexy beast of France.

And YOU, the readers.

...

If you enjoyed this story, please consider supporting Greene Earth Productions on P-A-T-R-E-O-N, so we have the funds to create more incredible and hilarious stories like this.

If you do, then you individually will appear in credits like these in future works!

...

 **Thanks for reading this story,**

 **it was good, unlike the broth.**


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